Stay
by Wren Gebel
Summary: "Why did you stay?" Malfoy asked. I held my breath. Good question. "Because you needed someone. And that was me," After the Quidditch match, Hermione goes the Room Of Requirement instead of an empty class room. What she finds there might change her life. Rated M mostly for language. Slightly AU for the amount of time between major events. Chapter 10 is up now, have a great read!
1. Bookshelves

**Disclaimer:Nothing you read in this story belongs to me. All credit goes to Queen J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Bookshelves**

_I need a place to cool down. I need a place to cool down._

I kept thinking this over and over again in my head as I marched briskly toward the Room of Requirement. I was just so tired of Ronald lately! My unruly curls flipped behind me from my fast pace. My hands were balled in tight fists, my fingernails almost cutting into my skin. He and that Lavender Brown were driving me nuts! And tonight was suppose to be fun! A night of celebration! Gryffindor had won the Quidditch match! And it was fun, until Ron laid one on Lavender _right in front of everyone._

My heavy footsteps echoed off the walls loudly. It was after hours, but I was too angry to care if I got caught. Tears of anger burned down my face. Merlin I hate him so much! How long had he been flirting with me? Since fifth year? And I was just starting to get interested and flirt back when he had to pull something like this! And the worst part is that I can't talk to anyone. Harry and Ginny think it's oh so cute. Disgusting!

I growled softly without meaning to. My steps became faster with anticipation as I neared the Room. Drawing closer I could see that the door was already there, waiting for me. If I wasn't so angry I might have noticed how odd that was, but my mind was so clouded with hatred toward Ron that I couldn't think about anything else.

The light from the torches shown brightly off the elaborate metallic designs that spiraled throughout the large door. _You can let your anger out here._ It seemed to say, or maybe it was just my wishful thinking. I really needed to cool down before my head popped off.

My hands were pale and shaking fiercely when I flung open the door with enough force to smash anything behind it to smithereens. However, there was nothing directly behind it, so it swung open silently and stopped moving right before it hit the wall. I slammed it shut, but it only made a small 'click' as it connected to the frame.

For a moment I just stood there shaking and taking in the room, trying to decide if the Room really understood what I wanted. There were glass vases everywhere. There was a long window seat on the far wall with plenty of pillows and blankets. It looked out on a spectacular view that I knew must be bewitched, because you cannot see the ocean from Hogwarts. There were many bookshelves full of big fat novels placed everywhere in no particular order and a dozen windows hung from the wall to the left. A bucket full of hard white balls was placed next to them.

I hoped the room was sound proof because I was going to scream. Loudly.

I picked up a vase and chucked it as hard as I could at the far wall, putting all my anger into it. It smashed to pieces with a satisfying crack, littering the floor. I stared wide eyed at what I'd just done. Never before had I ever done anything like that, but it felt so good.

I picked up another one and threw it fast. Then another and another. I imagined them smacking into Ron's face. Some time during my fit I stopped crying and my tears dried to my face, leaving it to feel dry and almost sticky.

I was making a huge mess, but it felt too amazing to stop. I picked up a ball from the bucket and pelted the nearest window, creating a huge crack all the way across and a large hole in the middle. Eventually I even stopped thinking about Ron and Lavender. I don't think I ever felt better.

The muscles in my right arm were starting to ache, but I kept going. My fiery rage couldn't be stopped now. The heat in my arm cooled the rest of me down somehow. The more _it_ hurt the less _I_ hurt.

When I ran out of windows to smash I turned to the bookshelves, but stopped when I looked at them, panting hard. I loved books too much to destroy them, even if they would repair right away, but that wasn't what made me stop. Two of the bookshelves were already empty, the ripped and crinkled books lay in a heap at the bottom, and one bookshelf was half destroyed, like someone had been interrupted half way through.

My heart started pounding faster than it already had been. What if they were still in the room? They had to be. The door had never opened. Why didn't I notice this before?! Why didn't I think that the door already being there meant someone was here? Why am I so thick!

My face grew red, realizing that they had probably seen my whole temper tantrum go down, but obviously they had had one themselves.

I walked cautiously toward the bookshelves, thinking that that was the only place they could hide. I felt awkward and silly creeping around the mess like a child playing hide and seek, but I didn't think it was appropriate to call out either.

Even if I was going to say anything it was too late. The bookshelves dissipated and there was nothing blocking my view anymore. For a moment, the sight made me want to heave.

Way back in the corner someone was hunched up in the fetal position with their face in their hands. Their back, covered by the white school uniform shirt, was shaking slightly like they were crying, but no noise was escaping.

The air suddenly got thin and cold. I couldn't breath. Goosebumps boiled up and down my arms, making the little hairs stand on end. I could feel the sadness radiating off their body. I wanted to touch them and tell them it was okay. Whatever they were worrying about, I wanted to comfort them in a motherly way, the way I would do to Harry and Ron if he wasn't such a git right now.

Quietly, I walked forward and stretched out my hand to touch their back gently. I narrowed my eyes at the quivering form, thinking I recognized the platinum hair. My fingers brushed their shoulder lightly, but it was enough to make them whip around fiercely and me jump.

Cold grey eyes bore into mine. They filled with surprise for a moment, but even through that I could see the pain. The sadness and tears on his face completely caught me off guard. What I said next was supposed to be shouted and dripping with disgust. But instead, it came out in a horse whisper and my voice caught in my throat.

"Malfoy?"

"Fuck," he wiped his tears quickly, but his eyes were still red and bloodshot. I could tell he was trying to hold back more.

And that was all he said. No insult, no yelling, no fighting. Just that. Maybe I should have felt like he deserved what he was crying over, but Malfoy never cries, not for real. He didn't even look like he was angry to see me, he just looked like he'd given up. I felt bad for intruding on what ever he had been doing. Obviously he wanted to be alone or he would have just gone to one of his cocky sidekicks.

"I'll just go," I whispered. I turned around and watched the glass disappear into a fog and then the room was incredibly bare and white. It probably didn't know what either of us needed right now. I was confused myself.

My footsteps echoed in the large blank space. I moved quickly to the door so that Malfoy could just be alone. This was the closest I'd ever felt to feeling bad for him, something must have hurt him a lot. Maybe his mother was ill, perhaps his father had died. I don't know, but for it to make Malfoy cry like that, it must have been bad.

My hand was on the door handle when I heard the scratchy words that made my blood run cold. I froze. My eyes wide. I couldn't have heard that right. But there it was again. It must _really _be bad.

"Please,"

Hardly a whisper. I turned around, he was crying again and not even bothering to wipe the tears away. I stared at him in shock.

"Please just stay. You don't have to touch me or talk to me or look at me, but don't leave. Please,"

I couldn't believe what I heard. He realized who I was, didn't he? Draco Malfoy never begged for anything. He looked so small and weak. When was the last time he ate? His skin was even paler than I remembered. Black circles around sunk in eyes.

I didn't say or do anything. I couldn't. Why doesn't he just ask one of his mates? Why doesn't he just get Pansy to suck face with him for awhile? That would make him feel better I'm sure.

He put his face back in his hands. Great. I made him feel worse. I shouldn't feel bad, but I do.

Now what am I doing? Am I actually walking away from the door? _Stop!_ I screamed to myself. _Just leave him! It's Malfoy! He's a git! Just go!_ But I couldn't stop. My feet just kept moving. The ground turned into a thick white carpet that would be comfortable to sit on. I felt the need to comfort him, even if he'd done some pretty mean things in the past.

To my own disbelief, and I'm sure his, I sat down next to him. Not too close, but close enough for him to know I was there.

It was quiet. He didn't look back up and I didn't look at him. Neither of us said anything. I don't know how long we sat there, the lights dimmed slightly so that it wasn't so bright and it seemed to be getting a little darker bit by bit. I I stared at the blank wall in front of me and listened to him cry. It was so peaceful somehow. It meant Malfoy was actually a human. With feelings. It meant his had been hurt badly.

Eventually his breathing became slower and more relaxed. When it took on a steady pattern I dared a look at him.

His head was on his arms, but lolled to the side so that I could see his face. His normally perfect hair was a mess of snow white strands, some sticking up and some falling down into his face. His eyes were closed and the lids were red and raw from rubbing them. Tear marks were prominent down his hollow cheeks. He looked like a wreck. A frail, helpless, wreck.

I don't think I'd ever seen anything like it. Someone who's supposed to be cocky and tall and arrogant was sitting before me, small and weak and fragile. And it was probably the saddest thing I'd ever witnessed.

Was I supposed to stay? Did I want to stay? No doubt the Gryffindor party would still be in full swing in the common room, so if I when't back there I'd get no sleep and I didn't want to be bothered either. Also, I had no idea were Ron and Lavender would be. Even the thought of the two made my blood start to boil again. I was afraid I might do something really horrible if I ran into them.

I looked back at Draco. Should I wake him? He looked as though he hadn't slept for days, this was good for him. Why did I care?

I leaned my head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, like the ceiling in the Great Hall, it was bewitched to look like the night sky. I looked dreamily for constellations I knew, which wasn't many. But it was so beautiful that I hardly cared. Draco breathed deeply, I mimicked him and closed my eyes. I felt light. Sleep masked me so I felt like I was just a body-less soul, floating in a world were nothing mattered. Ron didn't matter. Lavender didn't matter. The fact that I was sitting next to my worst enemy didn't matter.

* * *

I woke with a start. Something was shoving me hard and someone was yelling.

"Bloody hell! Granger, get the fuck off me!"

My eyes sprung open and I toppled backward from Malfoy's hard pushing. Had I fallen over on him during the night? I could understand some of his anger, but after all, he had been the one who asked me to stay.

His pale face was tinged with red. He still had dark circles around his eyes and sunken cheeks, but he didn't look as weak as he did last night.

He stood up quickly and took out his wand which he pointed at me with force and hatred. I stared back at him, slightly dazed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he spat.

I brushed the curls from my face and stood up so I didn't seem intimidated by him. What was he on about? I should be asking _him_ that! I took out my wand too so that I could block any hex he threw at me.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

I jumped slightly at the force in his voice and then prayed that he hadn't seen.

"Maybe you don't remember!" I shot back, "But you were the one who asked me to stay last night!"

His eyes flashed for a moment and he lowered his wand slightly. But just as quickly, the scowl was back on his face and his wand was brought back up. This was more like the Malfoy I remembered.

"I was drunk!" he stumbled over those few words a bit.

Was that really the best he could come up with? He was drunk?! Was that red hue in his face from anger or embarrassment?

I laughed sarcastically. "You were drunk?" I confirmed.

"Obviously. I'd never get that close to a mud-" he stumbled over his words. "-you, if I was sober,"

I was completely taken back, but I made sure not to show it. Why didn't he say it? He had been given the perfect opportunity to spit that foul word at me and watch my confidence go crashing down. But he didn't. His breakdown last night, begging me to stay, and his missed opportunity at using the word, really had me thinking. What was wrong with Draco Malfoy? What was going on in his life that made him like this? It was scary, I didn't like it.

His eyes were wide like he had just realized what he'd stopped himself from doing. His wand was a little too low again, and after a few seconds he still didn't bring it up. I knew then that he wasn't going to do anything and I relaxed a little.

"You didn't sound that drunk," I crossed my arms. He narrowed his eyes again and furrowed his brow. "I didn't smell any alcohol on your breath," I raised an eyebrow at him, very proud of myself for noticing those details. "Why would you be drinking anyway? Slytherin lost, I don't think that's something for you to celebrate about,"

He adjusted his grip on his wand nervously and reset his feet. I watched his lips part slightly like he was going to say something, but he kept snapping his jaw shut before any words fell out of his mouth.

His hair was still a mess, but it was refreshing from his usual slicked back and perfect hair, it was almost comical. His Slytherin tie was loose and dangling like a pendulum. And the top two buttons of his shirt were undone along with half of his shirt being untucked. Again, so unusual compared to his usual crispness. It was indeed, an odd sight to see.

Evidently he couldn't think of any snarky comments to shoot back because all he said was, "Don't tell anyone about this. Don't you dare say anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you honestly think I was about to announce to the whole school that I spent the night in The Room Of Requirement with the Slytherin ferret?" I bit back.

Again he hesitated. "I wasn't talking about that,"

I smirked at him.

I would never stoop that low. What I saw last night was a rare form of Malfoy, and I knew how horrible of a person I'd be if I told anyone. But that wasn't going to stop me from using this as black mail. We'll see if Malfoy dares to trip me in the halls again.

"Fine," I hissed.

He stared hard at me for a second longer and then turned quickly on his heal. He marched to the door and slammed it shut behind him. So I was left alone to wonder what in the world had just happened.

I checked my watch.

Great. I was late for breakfast. Still in my Gryffindor pride wear, I sprinted from the Room and toward the Great Hall.

I ran up to were Harry and Ginny were sitting, keeping as far away from were Ron and Lavender were busy cramming their tongues down each other's throats.

"Hey," I said breathlessly and trying to distract myself from the two.

Harry gave me a worried smile.

"What happened to you last nigh?" Ginny asked, all the while eyeing my disheveled appearance.

"I just needed some air," I said, taking a seat and filling my plate. "Things were a little too crazy for my liking,"

I tried really hard to ignore her worried stare.

"But were did you go?" She pried. I stuffed eggs into my mouth. "I didn't hear you return and you weren't there when I woke up,"

Great. Perfect. Lovely. Wonderful. Crap.

I chewed my eggs slowly as an excuse for why I didn't answer her right away, all the while trying to come up with a good explanation. If there was one thing I knew about Ginny, it was that she wouldn't just drop it.

I glanced over at the Slytherin table, and more specifically, at Malfoy. He was by himself and he wasn't eating. Just playing with his food. As though he sensed my eyes on him, he looked up and directly at me. I saw him glance nervously between Ginny and me. He glared hard at me. _You better not be talking about that._ I glared back. Neither of us wanted to be the first to look away._  
_

A hand flashed in front of my face, making me blink and loose eye contact. When I looked back he was already bent over the food he wouldn't eat.

"Hello?" Ginny said.

Harry gave me another worried look, but I ignored him.

"Sorry," I said, recovering. "I just went for a walk and then got up early to go to the library,"

Lies. All of it, lies. But not bad ones. I would have pat myself on the back if that wouldn't have looked suspicious.

Ginny seemed to accept it, but Harry wasn't so easily swayed.

"Is there something going on, Hermione?" He asked. "Is it Ron and Lavender? Because, even after one night, everyone's a little tired of them always connected at the mouth,"

"No!" I said, a little too quickly, brushing it off. "I'm just stressed out from studying and homework," I gave him a wide grin as if to say that everything really was fine.

He returned it with another nervous one and then went back to his plate.

I looked up and down the Gryffindor table, just now realizing how many of us were missing. I imagined most had stayed up too late and some had drank a little too much and hadn't gotten their hands on a hangover curing potion. Out of the many, I noticed that Dean was absent, along with Seamus, which surprised me a little. No doubt those two had supplied most of the alcohol, but I thought they would be smart enough to bring hangover curing potions.

"I have an idea!" Ginny squealed, suddenly getting excited and making both Harry and me jump.

"This will be good," I muttered.

She ignored me. "Let's go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, just us three!"

I bit my lip. It would be nice, but... "Ginny, I don't think-"

"Oh come on!" she wailed, cutting me off. "You could use the break, Hermione! And when was the last time you went?"

_Not that long ago._ I started to say, but thought it was best not to interrupt.

"Let's go as a group, I doubt Ron will want to go, we can do some shopping and stop at The Three Broomsticks on the way back!" She was practically bouncing with excitement.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I could use the distraction. "Only if Harry will go,"

Ginny and I both turned to him. He smiled. "I'm game,"

* * *

**A/N: And so begins our journey with Stay. Special thanks to all my returning readers from my last story, Searching. No, this is not the sequel to Searching, but I will post updates about a possible sequel in that story.**

**And a special welcome to all my new readers! **

**My previous readers will know that I love reviews, so any questions or comments you have should be put in the review box right down there. vvv **

**I will make an effort to contact you if you have a specific question or concern.**

**With this story I'm going to try to follow the actual story line, but it will be slightly AU because I will add or subtract time in between major events in some cases. If I get some things mixed around, please tell me, but bear with me. I will try to fix it, but it might not always happen.**

**My updates will be pretty random, but normally if I get a lot of reviews I try to update faster.**

**Thanks for making it all the way down here!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	2. Hogsmeade

**Hogsmeade**

Our breath crystallized in the cold air in front of us like little personal clouds. Harry, Ginny, and I trudged through the light snow on the path to Hogsmeade with rosy red cheeks and ice-cold fingers. Next spell I need to learn; the warming charm.

The sky was as white as the ground was, but the sun still shone through enough to reflect brightly off the snow and into our eyes, making us squint against it. Smoke puffed heavily out of the chimneys off most of the little shops, indicating a fire was inside, working hard to keep the shoppers warm. And it was snowing very lightly and lazily, just enough to cover up old footprints.

As we got closer I glanced at the spot were Katy Bell had been cursed and swallowed a nervous lump at the terrifying memory. Harry was still pretty convinced that Malfoy had been behind it and he kept trying to persuade Ginny and me to believe it too. He'd already managed to get Ron, but he was halfway convinced to begin with. I wasn't sure how I felt.

It reminded me of Harry's sureness on Malfoy becoming a Deatheater too, but I didn't think so. Expetially after what I saw two nights ago, I don't think he'd be able to handle that. And besides, Draco Malfoy was just a boy for heaven sakes! He's much to young for that, isn't he?

I stumbled slightly when the path made a curve, bringing me back to the present. Ginny was talking something about how awful Snape's Defense Against The Dark Arts class was. I showed her I was listening by smiling and nodding whenever she looked my direction. Harry was agreeing profoundly and also adding in about what a git Snape was. I hoped no one overheard.

Just as we reached the dark iron gates into Hogsmeade, the last two people I wanted to see came skipping out.

Arm in arm, so close they could hardly walk, was Ronald Weasley and Lavender Brown. I sighed internally. This was supposed to take my mind off of Ron.

"Oh look, Won-Won! It's your friends!" Lavender said, mainly pointing to Harry and Ginny, jumping slightly, and giving the biggest most fake smile I'd ever seen.

I smiled back politely, but it was more like a grimace.

"Hey," Ron said to us. "Lav and I were just going to go for a walk around the lake, you can come if you'd like,"

It took all of my being not to roll my eyes. Like I'd want to go watch them snog the whole time. I kept my jaw locked for fear that I'd laugh out loud.

Thankfully Harry answered. "I think Hermione and Ginny wanted to do some shopping," he offered.

Ron's eyes lit up, he didn't want us to come anyway. "Okay,"

Lavender giggled. "I guess it's just you and me!" She squealed and getting so close to his face that her nose brushed his cherry red cheek.

I could have puked.

We watched as Lavender clung to Ron's arm tightly and pulled him quickly away from us, grinning brightly all the way. I realized my hands were clenched in tight fists and my jaw was aching from grinding my teeth too much.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked.

I shook my head lightly. "Ya," I said. "Just a little queasy is all,"

"Same here," Ginny said. "Those two make me sick. And it's only been one day! Everywhere they go, there they are together, snogging each other silly,"

Harry laughed lightly, but I was too angry to do anything.

"Anyway, come on. I need to get some Christmas shopping done," Ginny grabbed our hands and pulled us through the tall gates and onto the street of the village from a fairy tale.

* * *

First we stopped at Dervish and Bangs were Harry and Ginny practically latched themselves to the Quidditch equipment. They looked and touched and pointed and commented on all the fancy broom grooming kits, protective wear, Quidditch posters, and the new brooms themselves. And for several minutes, they bickered over which broom was actually the best.

I pretended not to notice their petty fight until Ginny started yelling that she knew more about Quidditch than Harry did. Harry's face turned beat red. For a moment I thought he might explode.

Quickly, I ran over and grabbed his arm before he could say anything stupid. We got a lot of annoyed looks as we left the shop and Harry and Ginny were still glaring at each other. They'd get over it soon enough, Harry likes Ginny way too much to hold what she said against her.

And sure enough, as soon as Ginny spotted Zonko's Joke Shop, her face brightened and she ran toward it, completely forgetting about the argument she just had.

"This is were I'll get Ron something!" she told me excitedly. "He loves getting Fred and George back whenever he can, so I think I'll get him something he can use, instead of playing the prank on him,"

I nodded in encouragement and thought about what I should get Ron for Christmas. Maybe I'd just get him something about Quidditch like I planed on for Harry and Ginny.

"Are you coming to The Burrow for Christmas?" Harry asked as we walked slowly toward Zonko's.

_If Lavender isn't going._ I wanted to say. "I don't know," I scuffed my feet. Maybe it'd be nice to surprise my parents by coming home for Christmas. I should get them something too, they'd love something quirky from Hogsmeade.

"Okay," Harry said. "It'd be nice to have you there though, I think Ron might be bringing Lavender, and Ginny's mentioned bringing Dean,"

I smiled sadly at Harry, understanding just how he felt.

We pushed ourselves through Zonko's door and into the incredibly packed little shop. It seemed like the whole school was in there. I barreled through the crowd toward the back were I had spotted the carrot top of Ginny's head. I didn't even bother calling for her, she'd never hear over the loud bangs and pops and chatter.

She was looking at some Christmas crackers that blew up in your face when you popped them. She seemed to be deciding between one that would smell horrible and one that would coat your face in a purple powder.

"What do you think?" she asked Harry and me. "Which would Ron want to use more?" She held up the red and green crackers for us to see.

"Definitely the smelly one," Harry said, grinning.

"Good!" she said. "Let's go to Honeydukes now that that's decided,"

Ginny quickly paid for the crackers and we shimmied out of the shop and back into the frigid air.

Once outside, we heard a voice that made both Harry and Ginny cringe.

"Ginny! I've been looking for you!" Dean Thomas ran up to us and stood in front of Ginny.

Harry tensed up and glared at Dean who was trying to take Ginny's hand.

"Let's go to The Three Broomsticks, I'll buy you a drink," he said.

Ginny crossed her arms defiantly. "I'm still mad at you, Dean,"

He furrowed his brow. "But that was yesterday! Come on!" He rubbed her arms and looked sorrowfully into her eyes.

Harry's face turned red and he glared hard at Dean. I pretended to be looking at something very interesting across the street. Ginny and Dean fought a lot, but somehow they always managed to get back together. I felt like Ginny was too trusting. He would always do something to make up to her and by the end of the day, Ginny would be crying in her bed again. She deserved better.

"Dean-" she started, but he cut her off with a peck on the lips. Her face lightened as Harry's darkened. "I don't-" he kissed her again, making her giggle.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. It was happening again.

"Fine!" she yelled. "One drink! That's it! I'll catch up with you later," she told Harry and me.

Ginny took Dean's hand and walked away. I gave her a worried look when she passed, much like the one she gave me when I showed up late for breakfast yesterday.

_One drink._ She mouthed at me.

I turned to Harry who was watching them walk away sadly. "Come on, lets go to Honeydukes," I took his arm and started walking, trying to distract him from Ginny. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, and that Ginny would come around eventually, but I didn't want to embarrass him by letting him know I knew how much he liked her. Besides, wasn't the same thing happening between Ron and me?

We each got some sweats from Honeydukes and then I dragged Harry to the bookstore were he had to restrain me from spending all my money.

"But I want them all!" I said. My arms were packed full of books and I couldn't decide on just one.

Harry sighed and shook his head. "I know, but if you buy them all you won't have any money left for anything else. You still have to buy your parent's presents don't you?"

I groaned. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it. I set the stack down on a table in the back and laid them out so I could analyze each one. Merlin, I wanted them all so badly.

"You could buy one now and the rest when you're finished," he offered.

If I did that I'd just be itching to come back here tomorrow. I knew I shouldn't have come in here! But it just looked so welcoming and warm and when the door opened it smelled like parchment, and I just couldn't resist!

Harry scratched his head. "How about I buy you one for Christmas, that way you could have two,"

My eyes lit up and I smiled excitedly at him. "Really?!" I gasped. He nodded. I bounced lightly and put a finger to my chin as I decided which two I wanted most.

After I picked out the two I wanted we started heading back toward the castle. It was almost supper time and our stomachs made sure to keep reminding us, too. I shrunk my bags down so I could fit them all in just one and helped Harry do the same.

We made a quick stop in the Gryffindor common room to drop off our stuff and shed our winter wear. Then we found ourselves back down to the Great Hall were we sat next to Neville who seemed to be trying really hard not to stare at Ron and Lavender as they fed each other and made cooing noises.

"Hey Neville," I said while I slid into the spot next to him.

"Hi Hermione!" he said cheerfully. "Hello Harry!"

Harry smiled and nodded back at him.

"How was your day?" Neville asked us nicely.

"Good. Harry, Ginny, and I went to Hogsmeade," I said. "How was yours?"

"That sounds like fun," he said and took a bite of his potatoes. "Mine was fine. Mostly I just.."

But I didn't hear the rest of what he was saying. I didn't mean to zone out or be rude, but just as I was shoveling corn in my mouth I happened to glance over at the Slytherin table, and of course, right at Malfoy. But the surprising thing was that his eyes were already on me. I dropped my spoon with a clang on my plate. He scowled at me hard and then went back to swirling his food around with his fork.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Neville asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry look at me and then follow my gaze to Malfoy.

"What did that git do now?" he asked, getting a foul expression on his face.

I shook my head and looked down at my food. "Nothing, just a dirty look," I said truthfully. "You were saying, Neville?" I tried to change the conversation and I picked my spoon.

"Right," Neville said.

Harry gave a concerned and confused look. I glanced at him once and then ignored it by engaging in Neville's conversation. But that didn't stop me for wondering what the heck Malfoy had been doing. I already told him I wasn't going to say anything, he needed to stop worrying and stop glaring at me from across the room.

* * *

After supper, Harry, Neville, and I walked back to the common room and we talked for a bit more in front of the warm fireplace. I sat in the comfy armchair and Harry and Neville sat on the sofa. We were all laughing and joking fine with Seamus until Ginny burst angrily through the prorate hole.

She wasn't crying, but she looked bloody angry. She shot me a glance and then marched furiously up the steps to the Girls' Dormitory. I glanced at Harry who was looking after her, worried and then I got up and followed her.

Her hair was spread out like a fan above her on the bed and she was screaming into her pillow. I walked over to her cautiously and sat down on the bed next to her. I didn't know what to say so I just rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Eventually she calmed down and stopped screaming. When she sat up I asked her what was wrong, although I was pretty sure I already knew.

"Dean and I had a row again!" she said angrily. Her fist were clenched tightly in her lap and her orange hair was a mess all about her head.

"Did you two break up?" I asked as softly as I could.

She sighed. "No,"

"What?" I yelled. "Why not?"

"I dunno," She slumped her shoulders. "I just can't bring myself to call it off,"

I stared at the far wall. "I hate to see you unhappy, Gin. Maybe it's time. All you two do is fight,"

She looked up at me angrily. "That's not true! We do a lot of things!"

I held up my hands defensively. "Okay! I'm just saying that you should be with someone who makes you happy," I smiled weakly at her.

She put her face in her hands, making her hair fall down around her like a scarlet curtain. "I know,"

* * *

I went to bed that night thinking about what I told Ginny. I was so jealous of Ron and Lavender, although I'd never admit it, but some times I wondered if Ron and I would actually be happy together. Maybe he and Lavender really were perfect for each other, even though they discuss everyone else. Maybe I should be happy for them instead of being mad at Ron all the time.

But that also made me wonder if I would ever have anyone like that. There's someone for everyone is a lie. My aunt never married. Neither did Filtch, or Dumbledor, or McGonagall, or Snape, as far as I know. If there was no one for them, maybe there's no one for me.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, don't hate me, I know there's no Dramione happening in this one, but I needed to do this so you kind of understood what was going on with each character. I promise there will be Dramione soon! Sorry for the short chapter, I'll try to make them longer in the future.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I love your reviews so much so please just tell me what you think! I want to know if you hate it or love it or kinda like it or meh or if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm doing something right or pretty much anything!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	3. Broom Cupboard

**Broom Cupboard **

I raked my fingers through my hair. This was wrong! This was all wrong! The potion is supposed to be green, not black! It's supposed to be lightly bubbling, not boiling! I was doing everything the book said, how come nothing was coming out right?! I looked back at the book. It said to cut the Sopophorous bean into three equal slices. With a shaking hand, I picked up my ruler and measured the bean carefully. Then, with a careful hand, I sliced it as equally as I could and then added the sliced bean to the potion.

Nothing happened.

Nothing.

I looked up, confused and shaken. Professor Slughorn was smiling at us brightly from behind his cluttered desk. I looked around tentatively, hoping that everyone else was having the same problems as me.

Ron was stabbing his beans furiously and turning bright red. Pansy was sweating over the cauldron, he black hair falling down into her eyes while she stirred the the potion over and over. The girl next to me looked scared and lost while she peered into the cauldron, her short fuzzy hair was a mess on her head and her hand was on her forehead. Malfoy was looking boredly between his book and his potion. He seemed to have given up. And Neville was paying no attention to his cauldron at all. Instead, he was looking at Harry.

With surprise and anger, I realized that Harry's potion was perfect. It was a perfect blue-green, with yellow puffs of steam rising into the air, and it was lazily bubbling like it was no problem. He was easily stirring in a clockwise manner and looking pleasantly at his book, oblivious to the eyes on him. I looked from my potion to his. What was Harry doing right that all of us were doing wrong? For two weeks he's been top in potions while the rest of us struggled to get a P!

It wasn't fair! Harry never studied and some how he was still doing better than everyone. It wasn't like this last year, or the year before. I hated to think it, but maybe Professor Slughorn was giving Harry special treatment. But that couldn't be. Maybe Harry was one of his favorites, but Slughorn had invited more than just Harry to his Christmas party. I'd think he'd treat everyone invited, superiorly as well, and I sure wasn't getting extra help.

_Ding!_

Great. Class was over and my potion was no where near done. Slughorn stood up and cleared his throat.

"Right!" he said. "If you'd all stop working on your potions now, I'll come and grade them,"

He started at the far table where a group of Slytherins were.

"Good," I heard him say while I frantically tried to finish mine. "The colour is off a lot, but the texture is perfect. I think an A for you, Peters,"

_One pinch of powdered Mandrake, but no less._

I added it quickly, trying to make sure it was exactly one pinch. The potion hissed. I looked around sheepishly to make sure Slughorn hadn't heard, but he was frowning at Neville's cauldron, which was spitting red liquid everywhere and puffing out heavy black smoke.

_Stir clockwise three times and then counterclockwise five times and __immediately turn off the flame._

By the time I was done stirring, Slughorn was looking wide eyed at Harry's.

"Mr. Potter!" he exclaimed while Harry beamed. "This is the best I've seen so far! Amazing! Absolutely perfect!" I frowned hard and slammed my book shut. It wasn't going to help me anyway. And my potion was now only greyish-green. "This deserves an O, definitely!"

Harry looked smugly in my direction. I wanted to take my potion and dump it over his head right then.

"Miss Granger," Slughorn said, coming around to my table. He eyed my potion for a while and then dumped his finger in it and rubbed the grey-green between his index and thumb for a moment. "Good work. The colour is almost there. The texture is spot on and the steam is almost exactly sunflower yellow! An E, for sure!"

I furrowed my brow. "An E?" I said in disappointment. "But sir, I followed all the instructions perfectly!" I whined.

"I'm sure you did," Slughorn said, frowning. "But as you can see by looking at Mr. Potter's, it is not completely correct. I'm sorry Miss Granger, but my grading is an E. Perhaps you would prefer an A, or a P?"

I bent my head. "No, sir,"

Then Slughorn left me to sulk and went to grade other student's potions. I listened carefully to the other grades. No one except Harry got an O. I guess everyone's was pretty horrible, some even got grades as low as a D. So what was Harry's secret?

When all the potions had been graded, and almost everyone thoroughly displeased, Slughorn dismissed us and we filed out of the doorway to our next class.

I turned right down the hall and toward Ancient Runes, which wasn't a favorite among most, so the hallway was fairly empty. I used the lack of students to let my anger play across my face and whisper a few insults toward potions in general.

I kept my head bent and my hair over my face so that if anyone did happen down this hall, they wouldn't see much. My knuckles turned white from holding my books too tight. Blast Harry! He made us all look like fools! But I can't be mad at him, I'm already mad at Ron. I don't know if I can handle being angry at two people at once.

My steps were fast, but apparently not fast enough. As I was walking by a broom cupboard, there was a rough tug on my arm and then I was no longer in the hall.

I was too surprised to cry out or fight against whomever had a hold of me. I blinked for a second against the sudden darkness before I realized what had happened.

My back was up against the cold stone wall and my shoulders were being pushed back by strong hands to keep me in place. I reached out and shoved whoever was in front of me. My hands hit the bottom of their chest and I could feel their ribs, even through the robes. There was a grunt as they stumbled back and I fished for my wand.

Before I could get it out of my pocket, they slammed into me again, causing my head to hit the wall hard. I let out a small whimper of pain.

"Who's there?" I said forcefully. "What do you want?"

"I thought I told you not to tell anyone," they hissed. That voice was unmistakably Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" I said, squinting through the darkness around us.

"Who'd you tell, Granger?" He said. I felt his cool breath on my face and realized that we were way too close. _Way _too close.

"No one," I wrinkled up my nose and tried to push him away again. He just slammed my shoulders back into the wall. "Let me go!" I yelled.

"Who. Did. You. Tell?" he grit his teeth. I could just imagine his eyes turning icy.

"Why do you think I told anyone?" I spat and pushed against his chest, hoping he was weak enough that it would give. He only seemed to move closer.

"Because Potter's been following me around like a lost puppy!" his grip on my shoulders tightened, making me squirm underneath him. I could feel his nails digging into my skin through my robes. That was going to leave a mark. "Now, who else knows?"

My eyes widened. "He is?" I asked in disbelief, my arms slacking a little. Harry was following Malfoy, that was news to me. I knew he didn't trust Malfoy, but he had yet to tell me he was stalking him.

"Answer my fucking question," his face was so close to mine that our noses were almost touching. I could feel it's presence in the air just before my face. I could probably bite the pointy thing off if I really needed to.

"I didn't tell anyone!" I yelled. "Now shove off, Malfoy. I'm going to be late for class!" I pushed against his chest again, but he still wouldn't budge.

It was silent for a moment, like he was thinking. His hands were still on my shoulders, but his fingers weren't digging into my skin anymore. I could smell his musky cologne lightly. It smelled expensive. But more, I could smell his breath, which was tinged with peppermint and still dusting my face.

I stared hard at the place I thought his face was, just in case he could see me.

Then, after minutes of deafness, he quietly asked a question that struck me funny. "Why?" was what he said.

Again it was quiet for a moment. I really couldn't think of what to say so I asked him, "What?"

"Why?" He said louder.

I don't know. Why didn't I tell anyone? "Maybe I'm not as low as you think I am, Malfoy," I answered. "Can I go now?" I wiggled again.

"One more question," He whispered. His voice was close to my ear and his breath was on my neck now. "Why did you stay?"

I held my breath. Good question. Honestly, I was still trying to figure that out myself. And I had no witty comeback, so I answered with what I thought was the truth. "Because you needed someone," I whispered. "Because you felt alone and hurt and you needed someone who wasn't going to ask questions, or start a conversation, or bother you. And that was me,"

His breath was back on my face, but he didn't say anything. I could feel his eyes trying to look at me. I closed mine and leaned against the wall willingly. My arms fell to my sides, giving up on pushing him away.

Each time his breath cascaded down my face I felt more and more numb. I forgot about classes for a minute and just let what I said weigh on both of us.

Gradually, the weight of his hands on my shoulders lessened until they were completely gone and it was cool there without his body heat. Then his breath left and I heard the door open and close, allowing a small splash of light to hit my lids briefly. He was gone. I could breath.

* * *

The rest of my day wasn't quite so eventful. I was late for Ancient Runes, which never happens, and on top of that, I couldn't focus on anything. I was hardly able to jot down the homework before my mind ran to other things.

Had Harry really been following Malfoy?

Why was Harry following Malfoy?

What was going through Malfoy's head right now?

What was going through his mind back in the broom cupboard?

Had anyone seen us? That would be embarrassing.

"Hermione?" someone was saying. "Hermione? Hermione!"

I jumped and shook my head. I was in the Gryffindor common room with my face in a book. When did I get here? I couldn't remember really anything passed Ancient Runes.

I sighed when I realized who was standing in front of me. None other than Cormac McLaggen, who couldn't seem to get the message that I wasn't into him.

"I'm busy, Cormac," I said, burying my face back in my book and willing him to leave. Instead he sat down, way too close, and draped his arm around my shoulders. I cringed.

"Are you now?" he asked, leaning in to look at my book, which I blocked by holding it closer to my face.

"Yes," I scooted down the sofa as far as I could, but it didn't take long for him to follow. What a creep. "So if you don't mind..."

He chuckled, but didn't move. Then his face started moving to the side of my head and I froze in fear. He'd better not. I shivered when his nose lightly brushed the shell of my ear and his hot breath moved the little hairs.

"It's upside down," he whispered.

My face turned red as I realized for the first time that my book was indeed, upside down. I turned it around as quickly as I could and tried to find where I last remembered reading as to help myself ignore Cormac, but I couldn't even remember starting the book at all. What was this about anyway?

Then I felt teeth. Cormac was running his teeth along my ear. I stood up quickly, knocking his face with my shoulder, although I wish I had done it harder.

"I'm going to dinner," I said, loudly and quickly. My face was burning, a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"I'll walk you there," he stood up and put his hand on my waist.

"NO!" I said too quickly and practically running away from his hand toward the girls' dormitories. "I mean, I have to put some things away, you go on ahead,"

He put a hand on his hip and ran the other through his short curls. "It's okay, I'll wait," he said.

"Please," I practically begged. "Just go on without me!"

"Shh..." he hushed, walking over to me. I backed up and stood on the stairs so that he couldn't reach me. "I'll wait,"

I rolled my eyes and whipped around. I marched up the stairs and angrily plopped down on my bed. Looked like I wasn't going to supper, because not even Amortentia would make me want to walk to the Great Hall with him.

* * *

After ten minutes of blankly staring at the ceiling, my mind had traveled to the same things I had been thinking about all day. I even forgot that Cormac was downstairs waiting for me, until I heard his voice waft up the stairs like a bad odor.

"Hermione? Are you alright?"

I held my breath, hoping that if he didn't hear a reply, he'd just go away. But five seconds later his voice pierced my ears again.

"Hermione?!" he yelled. "I'm coming up!" there was a moment or silence and then a loud crash as the stairs turned to a shoot and Cormac fell. I giggled silently at the thought of him landing on his ignorant behind. "Never mind," he called.

Then another voice rang throughout the common room. It was higher and there was a definite tone of sass to it.

"Hermione?!" Ginny yelled.

I heard Cormac murmur something to her and she said something back. I covered my face with my hands and tried to understand what they were saying. It just sounded a lot like whale calls to me, but angry ones.

Pretty soon, Ginny came marching up the stairs and into the dormitory. Her hair was flying and her face was red, but she looked rather proud of herself.

"Come on!" she said while pulling me up. "Let's go eat,"

"But, Cormac is down there! He's waiting for me, and it's disgusting!"

"Hermione Jean!" she scolded. "I would have thought you knew how to get rid of him!"

"Ginny!" I yelled back in the same tone. "I don't want to get detention!"

She simply smirked at me in reply and raised her eyebrow.

"Anyway," she grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the bed. "You don't have to worry about him anymore,"

I raised an eyebrow at her, but let her pull me along. "Why? What did you do?"

She thought for a moment while we walked down the stairs and into the common room. Cormac was nowhere to be seen. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I may or may not have sent him to the hospitable wing," she said shyly.

"Oh, Ginny! What did you do to him?" my eyes grew and I studied her carefully. She was joking right? Please tell me she was joking! I'd rather not have her be expelled. She was my only _girl_ friend.

"I didn't do anything!" she said defensively.

I frowned at her. "Then where is Cormac?" I was confused now.

She opened the portrait hole and pulled me out. When we were in the hall she turned to me.

"I sent him to the hospitable wing. Now don't worry about it! Let's go eat, Harry's waiting,"

Before I could tell her how much trouble she could be in for whatever she did to Cormac, she was pulling me quickly down the stairs and I didn't have time to speak.

* * *

The first thing I noticed when we arrived in the Great Hall was the large gap around Ron and Lavender at the Gryffindor table. The second thing I noticed was that the two were in another snogging session. I narrowed my eyes and groaned at them.

"You like Ron, don't you," Ginny said.

I jumped. "No!" I said. Too quickly.

She smirked at me knowingly while my face went two shades darker than her hair. "While everyone else is disgusted by their constant snogging, you get angry," she wiggled her eyebrows.

I sighed. "Okay, I used to like Ron," I admitted. "But not anymore, no offence, but he's a git,"

She giggled. "He is a git," We walked passed the Slytherin and Hufflepuff tables. "But I know how you can upset Ron as much as he's upsetting you," She said slyly.

I raised my eyebrows. "How?"

"Take Cormac to Slughorn's party," she said, flatly.

"No way!" I yelled. I would never be caught dead with Cormac.

"No, but think about it!" Ginny pried. "It would piss off Ron soooo much! He hates Cormac more than you do!" she laughed at the thought.

Even I giggled a little at the thought of Ron's face turning bright red with anger. "I'll think about it,"

* * *

**A/N: Okay! Here you are! Make sure to let me know what you're thinking in the reviews! Especially if you have any questions!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	4. Alone

**Alone**

I slammed one of my heavy books that I was carrying into the bookshelf. Then I marched quickly and angrily to put away the next. Harry was following behind me.

"I'm perfectly fine with Ron dating who ever he likes!" I said, a little too loudly for the library. I got a couple nasty looks, which I promptly ignored.

"Then tell me who you're taking to Slughorn's party!" he insisted for the hundredth time. He was convinced that I was taking someone just to make Ron mad because I didn't like who he was dating. Well, he was right, but I wasn't going to let him know.

"It's a surprise," I shoved another book in the shelf.

I was angry at Ron again. I was angry at him a lot lately, but just for stupid things. Everything about him was annoying for some reason. They way he ate, walked, talked, laughed, blinked, breathed, everything! I couldn't stand him sometimes. And Lavender only added to it. It wasn't that I hated her for going out with Ron, it's that it was annoying that Ron was going out with her. Gah! I could punch him some times for just itching his head!

"Anyway," I turned to face Harry and changed the conversation. "It's you we have to worry about,"

He raised his eyebrows and put a hand on his chest. "Me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Right," I confirmed. "You have really got to be careful. There's been rumors that girls are trying to slip you love potions,"

He smirked and straitened up. "So?" he asked smugly.

I looked at him in shock. "So?! They're only doing it because they think you're 'The Chosen One',"

"But I am the chosen one!" he snickered.

I smacked his arm with one of my books.

"Okay, sorry! I'll take someone I like," he said.

"Who?" I asked suspiciously. I hoped he knew Ginny was already taking Dean.

"It's a surprise!" he mocked.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, we're going to be late to Potions," I grabbed his arm and yanked him from the Library.

* * *

"Ronald, could you please stop snogging Lavender for one moment so we can finish the assignment?" I was trying really hard not to shout.

Harry, Ron, and I were in the Gryffindor Common Room, finishing up a Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment together. Of coarse Ron had insisted on working with Lavender, and neither Harry, or I said anything, in fear of coming across as rude. But this was getting a little ridiculous. Every time Ron said something halfway intelligent, Lavender lunged at him with praises and cooing and lots and lots of snogging.

They broke apart at my words. From the dirty looks I got, I knew this would end in a fight.

"I'm sorry," Lavender said, her words dripping with sarcasm and her brows raised. "Are we bothering you?" She cocked her head to the side, questioningly.

I almost laughed at the stupid question. My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "Ya, a bit," _Don't get angry. Don't get angry._ I didn't think I could handle another emotional night right then.

"Then perhaps you should finish the assignment somewhere else," Lavender shot and crossed her arms at me.

It was all I could do not to reach out and slap her. I clenched my teeth and curled my fist, I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep calm. I looked at Ron, hoping he would take my side and say something to his girlfriend. Instead, he mimicked Harry's movements of looking between Lavender and me, although Harry seemed more frightened.

I was so angry that I could feel tears come to my eyes. _Don't get angry. Don't get angry. _"Perhaps you and Ronald should find somewhere else to snog!" I practically shrieked.

"Won-Won and I don't have to go anywhere!" she replied in horror. "We have just as much right to be here as you do!"

I couldn't stop my jaw from hitting the floor. This girl was impossible! And Ron was making it worse by saying absolutely nothing to her. How could he just sit by and let his best friend be insulted like this? Maybe I wasn't his best friend anymore. Maybe I wasn't his friend at all.

I looked helplessly between Lavender's smug face and Ron's blank one. My blood boiled and my face became hot.

"Fine," I finally said. Grabbing my books and parchment and throwing them into my bag, I stood up. "Carry on with the disgusting act of cramming your tongues down each other's esophagus, while I do something that will actually help me succeed in life," I huffed, slinging my back fiercely over my shoulder.

Giving a last look at Lavender's smug face, I turned on my heal and marched toward the portrait hole. Before I could even reach the handle, there were angry tears on my face.

I slammed the portrait shut behind me without a second glance and ran. For a while, I wasn't sure were I was going, I just knew I had to get away from them. It was after hours, but I was too clouded with hurt and loathing to care.

My feet pounded loudly in the halls and on the stairs. I should have gotten caught, but I didn't.

My vision was blurred from tears and the torches' odd shadows on the walls. I felt so betrayed. I thought Ron was my friend. Yet he did nothing! Of course Harry said nothing either, but it was _Ron's girlfriend!_

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the miraculous Room Of Requirement doors. I reached up to yank them open, but stopped with my hand resting on the cool metal.

I racked my memory. Had these doors already been here? Or had they just appeared now? Great. I couldn't remember! I didn't want a repeat of what happened the last time I flung open the doors without thinking. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember. I had just been too focused on my anger and hurt to notice.

I turned my head sharply to the right. Panic bubbled in my stomach. There was someone coming, their footsteps were echoing softly off the walls, but they were moving fast.

I didn't have time to think. I pulled open the door quietly and slipped inside. It didn't matter if anyone was inside now, Hermione Granger could _not _get a detention.

My eyes widened when I turned around in awe. I'd never seen this version of the Room before. It was amazing. There were heaps and piles and stacks of everything under the sun here. It must have been the place someone went when they needed to hide something. It seemed right. I needed somewhere to hide, so here was the Room. My fear dialed down, assuming that this Room was for me.

I ran over to a dusty pink armchair next to a table full of trinkets and plopped down. I curled my legs up and rested my head on my knees. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, but I couldn't stop the tears from soaking my jeans. I took deep, shaky breaths, but nothing helped. All my life, I had been told to go away in some form, no one at school wanted me around. I had hoped I'd never have to hear it from my best friend.

I listened to the noises the room was making. There was a fluttering and a soft dripping. Every once in a while a cricket somewhere would chirp. But I blocked out these sound and focused on a whirring noise, like wind through a small gap. The constant noise was calming, and it wasn't too loud or too soft.

And then there was a click, like something settling somewhere in the room, but I ignored it. I kept my eyes closed and focused more on the whirring, hoping that maybe I could fall asleep so I could forget about this for awhile, I could finish my homework later.

"Granger? What the hell-"

I looked up quickly with my heart beating fast. Great. Just what I needed. Malfoy to come put me down some more.

But he stopped mid sentence when I looked at him. He seemed almost frightened or startled. His wide grey eyes darted nervously from my face to something far behind me. I wiped at my eyes until they were raw. I didn't trust Malfoy enough to see me like this.

He stared at my face, still startled, for awhile before he seemed to try to regain himself.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" His words were harsh, but I could have swore that I heard a dash of concern.

I blinked in response. I didn't know whether or no to be upset. He frowned at my face, his golden brows falling low over his eyes and the side of his nose crinkled in confusion. For a moment, I had an odd sense of deja vu. It reminded me of the first night in the Room, except it had been I who had found Malfoy like this.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, still harsh. "Why aren't you with Potter and Weasley?"

Again, I couldn't hold back the tears when he spat out Ron's name. Why wasn't I with him? Why wasn't I with my friends? Why were none of them here with me?

I put my face in my hands so Malfoy couldn't see. I felt so weak, especially in front of him.

Through my fingers, I saw him tentatively look around, as though he was worried someone else was here. He was no longer frowning, but he looked terrified. He let out a deep breath and ran a spidery hand through his platinum hair. And then, he took a step toward me.

And then another.

And another.

Until he was standing right beside me.

I didn't raise my head as he sat down on the arm of the chair and let out another deep breath. I didn't stop crying quietly either. My fingers were moist of the tears and my cheeks felt raw where my palms had been rubbing them. I took deep, shaky breaths to stop myself from sobbing aloud.

Malfoy looked around again, and then down at me. I could feel his gaze, whether it was angry or not, burning into my face, but I refused to look at him. I refused to let him see me like this.

"Okay Granger," he said quietly, and widely differently from his earlier tone. "What's wrong?"

This surprised me enough to look up at him. He was making fun of me, right? But when my eyes gazed over his face, I saw nothing but sincerity.

I frowned at him. "What?" I asked in disbelief. He couldn't really be interested in what was bothering me.

He moved a bit so that he was facing me better. His legs dangled off the front of the plush chair's arm. He folded his arms over his knees and leaned into them a little. His stormy eyes seemed sad. Maybe he was sad to be talking to me, or sad from his own problems, or sad because I was sad. Any way, it was a bit unnerving.

"What's hurting you?" he said.

I frowned harder. "Why do you care?" I realized how mean it sounded too late.

He raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. "I don't. But you stayed when I was like this, so... I guess.. this is repaying you,"

I almost laughed, but not because I thought it was funny. "I don't want your repayment, Malfoy,"

He pursed his lips. "Fine then," he stood up. "I'll just go ," he walked toward the door.

I felt more and more empty with every step he took away. And colder, like he was my heat source. Oh Merlin, what was I doing? I jumped up from my chair. "Wait!" I shouted and he stopped. I took a step forward.

Slowly, he turned to look at me. His expression was the same, but now his eyebrows were raised again.

I stared at him for a while before I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

I took a deep breath. "I just..." I stuttered, unsure of what I wanted him to know. I just knew I wanted him to stay, I couldn't be by myself. "I feel... so alone," I admitted.

Something softened in his eyes when I said that. I continued as he took a step toward me. "I feel like I can't talk to anyone or tell anyone what's _really _going on. I don't think they would understand. And I'm tired of being alone!" I cried and wiped furiously at my face, angry that I couldn't control my own tears. Malfoy took another step to me and we were standing toe to toe without really touching. I looked in his eyes and saw that he was trying to hold back tears too. I saw that some how, he knew exactly what I was saying. "I'm tired of Ron, and I'm tired of Lavender! I'm tired of people pushing me down," there was a flicker of regret in his eyes when I said this. "I don't know what to do anymore! And no one understands!"

His jaw quivered and his uneven breathing cascaded over my face like tiny gusts of wind. "I understand," He breathed.

I frowned through my tears. How could Malfoy possibly understand what a 'Mudblood' was going through?

"I know exactly what that feels like," His breath was shaking uncontrollably. He looked so sincere, I think I might have believed him.

Before I knew what was happening, before I had time to react, Malfoy bent his head and I closed my eyes. He pushed his lips on to mine and moved them slowly and gently. My tears slithered down my face and moistened our lips.

Right then, I didn't care that I was kissing Draco Malfoy. I just knew that what was happening didn't make me feel alone. Somehow, this told me that he did know exactly how I was feeling.

I kissed him back. I couldn't help it. We moved together, comforting each other, slowly and passionately. But we didn't touch each other. He didn't reach up and cup my cheek like in romance novels or films. I didn't put my hands around his back. Because we didn't do this for fun or because we could, we did this because we needed it. Because we needed not to be alone.

And then, all too soon, he pulled away and the comfort was over. His eyes were wide, scared, and full of tears. His mouth was open slightly, like he couldn't believe what he'd just done.

"Oh fuck," he whispered and backed away slowly. I stared back at him, too shocked for words. What the hell had I just done? "Oh fuck!" he repeated, mimicking my own thoughts.

With terror in both our eyes, he turned and ran out the door without a second glance.

With the heavy click of the door, everything came rushing back. Except now, I had to deal with what just happened, and I didn't even know what that was. And I had to deal with it alone.

I feel back into the chair and cried myself to sleep. And when I woke up the next morning, I woke up alone.

That's what it was like the rest of the day. I was surrounded by hundreds of students and no one to talk to. I could tell Ginny about Ron and Lavender, but I already knew what she would say. So I think it's time I try things Ginny's way. I'm going to ask Cormac to Slughorn's party. And I'm going to hate every minute of it.

* * *

**A/N: Ugh! This one is shorter too! Sorry! **

**It may seem like there is a lot of crying and anger in this so far. Yup. **

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**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	5. In Motion

**In Motion**

I slumped into the seat next to Harry and across from Ginny at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Everything hurt. My body was cramped from sleeping in a chair all night, the constant chatter of students over their breakfasts pierced my inner ears like daggers, and the light and sight of Ron and Lavender a few feet away stung my eyes.

"You look horrible," Ginny remarked as I took a piece of toast and ran the edge along my lips.

"Thanks," I replied groggily.

My mouth opened to take a bite of the toast, but I snapped it shut quickly. Even the thought of eating something almost made me sick. I tentatively placed the toast on my plate, hoping that neither Harry nor Ginny would notice my lack of appetite.

"Did something happen?" Ginny asked, leaning forward to get a better look at my face, which I was trying to hide by bending my head and letting my hair fall down.

I shot a glance at Ron and Lavender and then over at the Slytherin table, but could find Malfoy. I wanted to see his face and for him to see me so that maybe I would know what exactly happened.

Harry answered her for me in my silence. "Hermione and Lavender had a row last night," he whispered, as though he was afraid that I would hear and cause a scene.

Ginny raised her brows in surprise at Harry and me. "Lavender?" she asked. "So Ron didn't do anything?"

Harry shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"That's the problem," I mumbled while picking at the corner of my toast. "He just sat there and let her say everything. He didn't even try to defend me,"

"Ooh!" Ginny snarled. "I'll beat his arse! Or better yet, I'll have Fred and George do it!" she dug her nails into the wood of the table and furrowed her brow, her eyes flashing.

"No, no," I said calmly with my cheek in my hand. "I already know what I'm going to do,"

Her and Harry's eyebrows shot up for a moment, until Ginny must have realized what I meant and started giggling.

"So, you're gonna do it?" she asked through a smirk.

"What?" Harry asked, very confused. "Do what?"

"Oh yes," I said, ignoring him and trying to make it sound like no big deal. "Ronald added the last straw last night,"

"Excellent!" Ginny exclaimed rather evilly. "When? Can I be there?"

"I don't know," I said thoughtfully while Harry was looking very confused between us. "I don't want everyone to know, I'll probably just do it alone,"

Ginny slumped a little at this, but she was still smirking wildly. "Is someone going to tell me what 'it' is?" Harry practically yelled.

"Nope," Ginny jeered.

I hid my smile from his frustrated face by looking down and picking at my toast again. This had lightened my mood, and perhaps some of the dark circles under my eyes, but my stomach still twisted in knots when ever I thought about one of three things. Ron, Cormac, and Malfoy.

* * *

I flared my nostrils and breathed heavily in disgust. I tried to focus on what Snape was saying, but his voice was so monotone and it didn't help that every time I turned my head I caught Cormac's eye.

Cormac tilted his chin toward me and bit his lip in what I think was suppose to be a seductive manner. It just made me want to hurl. I gave him a flirtatious smile, reminding myself that this was necessary in getting back at Ron. He smirked back at me, clearly pleased with himself. I had Cormac wrapped so tightly around the finger, all I had to do know was tell him he was going to Slughorn's party with me and he'd jump at it.

"-And I want you to write a two page essay on them by Friday," Snape was saying. I jotted this down quickly and then picked up my books as he dismissed the class.

I took a deep breath while filing out the door with the other students, making sure that I was one of the first out so that I could grab Cormac in the hall. This was the part I'd been dreading. Also the part I'd been avoiding for two days. But with Slughorn's party this weekend, I didn't have much time to waist.

I slipped away from the main herd and leaned against the wall to the right of the door, the way I knew Cormac took. Clutching my books close to my chest, I watched carefully for him to emerge. When he finally did, he was smirking and looking arrogant as ever.

"Cormac," I said, summoning up my Gryffindor courage, but it wasn't like I really needed to. As soon as he'd spotted me he swaggered right over.

"Hey Hermione," he said, getting way too close. I honestly don't think he has any respect for personal space.

I backed away a little while still trying to look like I was interested. I already had planned out how I was going to say. I wanted it to sound sincere enough that anyone around would think it was real (if they believed it, Ron would believe it), but I also knew I didn't need to put in much effort.

"Umm-" I said, jumping when he placed his hand on the wall right next to my face. He smelled like too much cologne.

"This is about Slughorn's party, isn't it?" he said as though reading my thoughts. "I was wondering when you would ask me," what a cocky git. "I've already been asked once you know," he gave me a toothy grin when I frowned. "But I was saving my yes for you,"

I almost groaned at his attempt at flattery. Somehow he always managed to brag about himself, even when he was paying someone else a compliment.

"So you'll go then?" I asked, even though I was sure I already knew the answer.

He gave a cheesy grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows. "I'll meet you in the Common Room, Friday night at seven,"

"Okay," I said, trying to smile, but it was more of a grimace.

I slipped away from him and practically ran from the blue eyes that I knew were following me all the way. I rounded the corner quickly to get away from his gaze and promptly cringed for two reasons. One of those reasons was Malfoy making his way down the hall.

As soon as he saw me he stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. I walked quickly after him. We needed to talk about what had happened, as much as I didn't want to. I couldn't take the awkward glances in classes anymore. I'd try to meet his eye as if I could search for an explanation in them, but he would always turn away. And it was killing me that I didn't know what could have possibly happened to Malfoy to make him kiss a 'mudblood' of all people.

"Malfoy!" I called after him, receiving odd glances from passerby in the hall.

He proceeded to make his way quickly down the hall as though he'd never heard me.

"Malfoy!" I growled again as he marched around the corner. I was not going to let him get away without an explanation.

I rounded the corner after him and ran headlong into his chest.

"Oof!" I stumbled back. Clearly I hadn't been expecting him to actually wait for me.

He glared down at me ferociously. "Bloody hell, Granger!" he growled. "What do you want,"

I straitened myself and righted the books in my arms. "I want you to explain yourself. That's all," I demanded.

The frown left his features for a moment, but quickly returned. "I don't know what you're talking about," he sniffed.

"I think you do," I preyed. "I don't believe it's something you easily forget,"

He flared his nostrils and pressed his lips together. His face was paler than usual and he looked even thinner than the first time I noticed it. "I'm trying to forget, so leave me alone," he said between clenched teeth and then turned around to walk away.

I followed after him quickly, still not satisfied with his answer. "You need to talk about it," I insisted.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk to you. Go away," he tried to shake me by walking faster, but I tailed him easily.

"But I want to talk about it. I want to know why that happened,"

"Go away, Granger!" he growled back.

"No," I replied flatly. "Not until I get an answer,"

He looked around nervously before spinning around and shoving my back hard against the wall, taking me by surprise.

"What do you want me to say?" he whispered angrily. His nose was wrinkled in a snarl and his lips were curled, showing his perfect teeth. "That I did it because I felt sorry for you? Or because I can't stand myself? Or because I'm slowly going insane?" his voice was growing louder and I was thanking my lucky stars that the other two people in the hall were too busy hurrying to class to notice. "I don't know why the hell I did it, okay?! I wish I did," he admitted. "I wish I knew, because then I might not be feeling like all of the above are true,"

He was quiet. I was scared to breathe. His breath was hitting my face heavily and he was shaking slightly. "Is that answer good enough?" he whispered.

I nodded, still too shocked to speak.

He backed away and ran his hand through his hair. I couldn't understand why he'd be feeling like what he'd said was true. None of it made sense for Malfoy, but the one that really stuck out to me was when he said he couldn't stand himself. The Malfoys were always self-indulging people. And they had some reason to be. They were wealthy, powerful, smart, cunning, things that many people would love to have. So why had the Malfoy standing in front of me admitted that he couldn't stand himself? Was the cruelty of him and his family finally catching up with him?

"Is that all you want?" he asked me, board.

"Harry thinks you're hiding something," I blurted, thinking about the time Malfoy had told me that Harry'd been following him and the time Harry had tried to convince Ron and me that Malfoy was a Deatheater on the train ride to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.

He sneered. "Figures," he snarled. "Potter's always sticking his nose in everyone else's business,"

I chose to ignore his insult toward Harry. "Is he right?" I asked instead.

Malfoy watched me for a moment and then straitened the collar on his robes and turned around to walk briskly away without saying a word, giving me all of an answer I needed.

I turned away and walked just as quickly down the hall. I had free period now and for once, I wasn't going to use it to study. So Harry had been right. Malfoy was hiding something, whether it be a Darkmark on his arm or something totally different, and I was going to find out what it was.

As I made my way down the hall my thoughts kept flashing to our last night together in the Room Of Requirement. Malfoy had been glancing nervously at something behind me, probably hoping that I wouldn't turn around and see it. But what was it? Were had his eyes been wandering?

When I reached the spot in the wall that the door should be I tried to remember what I'd been thinking about that night. What was something you would need that would summon that room?

_I need to know what Malfoy's hiding._ I thought, but nothing happened. The wall stayed solid stone.

I remembered all the piles of lost things in the room. _I need somewhere to loose something._

To my surprise, the door did form at this, the iron designs rising out of the stone like they were rising to the surface of a lake. I grabbed the handle eagerly and swung open the mighty doors. And then stopped. This wasn't the room I needed. Instead of piles of rubbish, there was a large dark circular chasm in the floor that seemed to go down forever.

I took a tentative step forward to gawk at the wonder and then shut the doors to try again.

I closed my eyes and focused, facing the wall.

_I need-_

_"_Ms. Granger!" Slughorn's excited voice pierced my thoughts.

"Professor!" I said, turning to face him and match his happy tone.

"Are you all ready for the party in two days?" he asked gleefully, walking over to where I stood.

"Just about," I said. I still needed to ask Ginny if she had some flats I could barrow, I'm sure she did.

"Are you bringing anyone special?" he sang.

I groaned internally. Oh yea, he was special. "Yes, sir. I'm bringing Cormac McLaggen,"

"McLaggen..." Slughorn said thoughtfully. "I thought you might take Ralph. You two are always together,"

I took me a second to realized that Ralph was Ron. "No," I said. "Ronald and I are hardly friends right now,"

The smile left his face. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that," he said.

"Don't be," I smiled.

He chuckled a bit and pat his stomach. "Would you like to join me, I was just going for a stroll,"

"Thank you, sir, but I need to get some homework finished," I said a little too quickly.

"Oh, well that's alright. I'll see you at the party,"

I smiled kindly, not bothering to tell him that he would also see me in class tomorrow. Slughorn continued to stand where he was, leaving me no choice but to head to the library anyway.

* * *

That evening at dinner in the Great Hall I told Ginny that our plan was in motion. She squealed with excitement.

"What plan?" Harry asked agitated. He hated not knowing what was going on.

"Who are you taking to Slughorn's party?" Ginny asked him to change the conversation.

"I don't know," Harry said sheepishly and looking down at his plate. "I haven't asked them yet. Who are you taking?"

I felt bad for him. I'm sure he wanted badly to ask Ginny, but she'd probably think it was a joke. Not to be mean, but because she legitimately would think he was joking.

"Dean," she said. "If he doesn't manage to piss me off before then," she added while shoveling potatoes into her mouth.

I could count on that he would. And I could count on that she would bring him anyway.

"That reminds me," I said pushing around the peas on my plate with my fork. I still wasn't too hungry. "Do you have any flats I could borrow for the party, Gin?"

She put her finger on her chin in thought. "Probably. What colour do you need?"

I thought of the dark green colour of the simple dress I'd picked out. "Black or green, I think,"

"I'll see what I can do!" Ginny smiled.

* * *

"Will these work?" Ginny held up a pair of plain black flats with bows on the toes.

"Perfect!" I said, reaching for them and slipping them on my feet. "Merilin, you have tiny feet!" I exclaimed while trying to cram my foot in. She shrugged and I enlarged them to more my size. "That's better, thanks,"

"No problem. So how did you ask Cormac?"

"I didn't have to ask," I laughed. "The vane peacock practically asked himself for me!"

She rolled her eyes. "At least it's sure to get at Ron. Should I tell him?"

"Nah," I said. "just wait, he'll hear about it from Harry soon after the party,"

She nodded and I checked my watch as other girls started to swarm into the room. "I think I better work on some homework and then get to bed," I said.

She nodded again. "Good night,"

"Good night,"

I headed back to the Common Room to finish my homework there, but quickly decided against it upon spotting Ron, Lavender, and a very uncomfortable looking Harry. I growled mentally at Ron. I really hoped Cormac tick him off a lot.

* * *

**A/N: It's September 1st! Another year begins at Hogwarts! How was your ride on the express? What house are you all in? If you haven't gone to your sorting ceremony yet, tonight is a great time to do it (on pottermore .com)!**

**How was the chapter? Let me know in the reviews!**

Saphire **- Ahh, well, waffles are still good any time of day!**

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**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	6. Hold My Hand

**Hold My Hand**

I checked the clock in the Gryffindor Common Room again. Seven fifteen. Where was Cormac? Of coarse it would be just like him to be fashionably late, but no matter how 'fashionably' it was, it made me anxious and jumpy.

I smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles on my dark green dress and bounced on my toes. If he didn't show up soon I'd have to just leave without him.

The portrait hole swung open, but who enter wasn't Cormac. I sighed as Ron and Lavender bounced in. Lavender and I eyed each other harshly.

"What are you doing dressed like that?" Ron asked me, rather rudely.

I puffed out my chest and lifted my chin. "Slughorn's Christmas party is tonight, Ronald."

He tipped his head back and eyed me.

"Then what are you doing here?" Lavender asked.

"Waiting for my date," I said proudly.

She snorted. "_You _got a date to Slughorn's party?"

"In fact, I did,"

"Then who is it?" Ron asked with just as much disbelief in his voice.

I curled my fist and tried not to grimace while saying his name. "Cormac McLaggan."

Ron's mouth dropped nearly to the floor. His face went beat red, but he tried to hide it by standing up strait and looking me in the eye. "You can't go with McLaggan!" he hollered.

Just then, the portrait hole swung open and Cormac sauntered in, smiling wide and looking particularly smug in his dress robes. I strode over to him and unwillingly linked arms.

"Watch me," I shot at Ron and then pulled Cormac swiftly from the Common Room.

We stumbled into the hall and I let go of his arm as soon as the portrait was shut tightly.

"Hermione!" Cormac said, looking me up and down as I walked briskly toward the party. The sooner we got there the better. "You look just as wonderful as me tonight!"

I rolled my eyes and shot a fake smile of thanks toward him, noting that this was as close as Cormac would get to giving someone a compliment.

I marched us down the halls, and after the third right turn, I was sure we were going the wrong way. Slughorn's party was in his office, but the potion master's office was in a different place this year than before, and I wasn't certain on how to get there.

"Hermione, I don't believe this is the right way," Cormac said carefully behind me.

Even as thick as he was he could tell I was flustered and not to be tampered with at the moment.

"I know, Cormac," I huffed.

I stormed around a corner, hearing music and voices coming from that direction. Down the hall was a splash of colour against the grey of the stones. There was music floating around it and smells of treats and sweets were wafting out. Finally.

I started fast walking, almost jogging, toward it, when suddenly I could no longer move. Cormac crashed into me from behind with an 'oof' and soon found himself trapped as well. It was like someone had glued our feet to the floor.

"What the-" Cormac said, desperately trying to lift his foot.

I managed to turn and look for whomever would have put some sort of sticking charm on the floor, but no one seemed to be lurking nearby.

Just then, a cackling Peeves came barreling around the corner and hovered, in hysterics, next to us.

"Uh oh!" he exclaimed. "Someone's caught under the mistletoe!"

Cormac and I glanced up. Sure enough, there was a small bundle of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling directly above us.

"Peeves!" I yelled at the poltergeist. "Did you put that there?"

He put a hand over his translucent chest like he was offended I would accuse him of such actions, but chuckled none the less.

"Of coarse not! Silly Hermy!" he slowly circled us and giggled.

I tried to move my foot again, but it was as stuck as ever.

"How come we can't move?" Cormac asked.

Peeves giggled evilly and rubbed is hands together. "_Stuck forever like a prince as a frog until the the two of you have a good snog!"_ he sang gleefully.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. It was not in my plan to ever kiss Cormac. Ever. He, however, was looking rather pleased, but he seemed to be trying to hide it.

"We have to kiss then?" Cormac asked.

"No!" I said, trying to rip my feet out of the flats, but even my toes were rooted to the spot. "Peeves! Let us go!" I was furious now.

Peeves laughed at my struggles. "Nope, nope, nope!" he bounced up and down and make smooching noises.

My face was flushed and I was panting from my exertions.

"Come on," Cormac said. "Just a little kiss."

I glared at him. "Cormac, I swear if you tell anyone-"

His lips were suddenly on mine. If he had stopped there, it would have been fine, but he went way farther than 'just a little kiss'. He seemed to think that my lips were three times bigger than they actually were and he was pushing down hard, trying to force his tongue in my mouth, which I kept promptly shut.

"LOOK! LOOK!" Peeves shouted. "GRANGER AND McLAGGEN ARE SMOOCHING!"

I ripped away from Cormac and stumbled backward, now free from the charms around the mistletoe. My face was flaming from embarrassment and anger. Peeves took one look at me and then shot down the hall and out of sight, cackling all the way.

I flared my nostrils, turned on my heel, and marched briskly to the party, leaving Cormac behind.

I tried not to look at anyone when I arrived. With my head down I ran to the back and ducked underneath the thin decorative curtains. I desperately tried to straiten my dress and right my hair, all the while rubbing the back of my hand over my mouth, still unable to get the feeling of Cormac's slimy tongue off.

I watched the crowed outside carefully for signs of Cormac. Perhaps that's why I was so startled when Harry suddenly appeared beside me.

"Harry!" I said breathlessly.

"Hermione, what happened to you?" he asked, eyeing my disheveled appearance.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said. "I just left Cormac under the mistletoe," I blushed.

"Cormac?!" he exclaimed. "That's who you brought?"

"I thought it would annoy Ron the most!" I explained. "He's a dreadful kisser!"

Harry laughed, even though I didn't think it was that funny. I glanced back out and saw Cormac's unmistakable smug face searching for me in the crowd. He must have recognized my silhouette behind the curtain because he started heading that way.

"Oh God, here he comes!" I moaned.

Shooting Harry an apologetic look, I ducked back out just as Cormac came in the other side. I weaved through the bodies, thinking I'd had enough excitement for tonight, and headed toward the door. As I left, I was thinking I might head to the Room of Requirement and see if I could get it to show me what Malfoy was hiding when the person of my thoughts was pushed passed me and through the door by a very excited Filch.

Malfoy glared hard at me as he passed and then shouted at Flich, silencing the whole party. "Get off me, you filthy Squib!" he struggled against Filch's firm, bony grip on Malfoy's shirt.

I didn't have time to stick around and hear all the trouble Malfoy had gotten himself into, Cormac was heading this way quickly.

"Found this one mucking about in the halls," I heard Filch say as I dashed out and slinked down the halls.

I headed strait for the Room of Requirement. If Malfoy had been wondering the halls perhaps he'd come from or was headed to the Room. And hopefully it hadn't changed yet.

* * *

Several minutes later, I was standing in front of the wall where the brass doors of the Room of Requirement should have been. I sighed and touched the stones, tracing the grooves with my fingers. This was pointless. I'd might as well just let Harry do his usual poking around and let him figure out what Malfoy's up to.

"God damn it, Granger!"

I spun around to see Malfoy, looking very angry and rather annoyed.

"Don't you ever leave this place?" he spat.

"I want to know what you're hiding," I said truthfully, not that I thought it would actually get me anywhere.

"No you don't," he took a step closer.

"So you _are_ hiding something?" I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

He flared his nostrils and huffed.

"What were you doing in the halls tonight?" I asked, his features darkening more.

"That's none of your business, is it?" he asked.

"This is my school too, Malfoy. I want to make sure my friends are safe here."

He almost laughed, but his face stayed indifferent. "Potty and Weasel have nothing to worry about."

"What about you?" I asked. "When was the last time you ate?" noting his thin and frail frame. "When was the last time you slept?"

He seemed taken aback at my question. For a moment he just looked surprised at me, then he said, "That isn't any of your concern."

I looked at him sadly, pitying him almost. "What have you done, Malfoy?" I asked, shaking my head. "What have you done to yourself?"

His features lightened slightly, but he continued to glare at me. Finally, he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "You want to know?" his voice was shaking slightly like he was trying hard to hold back tears. "Fine! I'll show you!" he spat.

To my surprise he began walking back and forth in front of the wall. The brass doors rose out of the stone, which he promptly threw open and hurried in, not waiting to see if I was following him.

It was the same room as our last encounter with each other was, like I had suspected it would be. I carefully followed him to the back, around piles of forgotten furniture and knick-knacks. I felt for my wand under my dress, just in case, although I didn't think he would try anything.

Malfoy stopped in front of something large and covered in a white sheet. He turned to face me, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I noticed again, how sunken and dark the circles around his eyes were.

"If it's possible," he said. "you will hate me even more after I show you this."

I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. I didn't bother to tell him that I didn't hate him, there were very few people actually that I did hate.

"And, you can't tell anyone," he continued. "Not even Potter and Weasly. You would only be jeopardizing their lives and your's if you did. Swear that you won't tell anyone," he opened his eyes and looked directly at me.

Now I was a little frightened to see what was under the sheet, but never the less, I looked right back into his pale grey eyes and croaked, "I promise."

Taking another deep breath, he pulled off the sheet to reveal a large triangular shaped cabinet. He pulled open one of the two doors on the front so I could see a dark, bare inside.

"This is a vanishing cabinet," he said. "It's broken. I'm mending it."

I frowned. "What's so bad about that?"

"When I'm finished, it will be used to sneak Death Eaters in. They're making me do it," he looked down at his hands like they were covered in mud and he was disgusted by himself.

"Tell Dumbledore!" I exclaimed. It seemed that was the obvious decision.

He shook his head, making albino hair fall into his face. "I can't. You-Know-Who will kill my parents. This is the only way to protect them."

I felt sorry for him. I knew he must have been going through a lot.

"But Dumbledore can get them and protect them and you," I insisted.

"You don't understand!" he yelled. "He'll manage to find them, if he doesn't have them already just waiting for me to fail so He can finish them off!"

The silence following was deafening, only broken by the occasional whir or thud from somewhere in the room. I swallowed hard, watching him lean his forehead against the cabinet and take deep, shaking breaths.

"Then what can _I _do?" I asked quietly.

He slumped down to the floor and leaned his back against the cabinet. His eyes closed and for a moment it almost looked like he was sleeping if not for what he said next.

"Hold my hand," he whispered, so quietly I almost didn't hear.

I stood dumbfounded for a moment. Then, without thinking, I slid down next to him and picked his hand up off his knee and held it. His pale skin was smooth and creamy and soft. I closed my eyes like he was and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

His stiff fingers seemed to relax with every breath he took until they were sitting limply and comfortably in my hand. Somehow, we both managed to fall asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for taking so long! No, I haven't given up! I just got real caught up with my non-fanfiction writing and didn't have time to write more for this. Honestly, you guys are too patient! If I ever do something like this again you need to bombard with PMs so that I get a move on! **

**Okay, what did you think? It may seem like their relationship is moving a bit fast, but I have reasons why there were some pretty bold moves happening (remember how Draco kissed her and then they didn't talk for days, it's going to be shaky and confusing like that). Sorry for the shortness of this one, too! I wanted to get it up quickly, that's why there might also be some mistakes!**

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews on last chapter! Keep them coming please!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**

**P.S! Check out my Tumblr account! (Link on my profile) That is where I will post Harry Potter fanart (you can send me your's via email (email on my profile)) and updates on my stories on FF (like when I plan on posting the next chapter and stuff like that) if I get enough followers! **


	7. Break

**Break**

When I woke up the next morning I was a bit dazed. A cricket was chirping loudly close by, and for a moment I thought I had fallen asleep outside. That's when I felt something warm adjust in my hand. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at Draco Malfoy's sleeping face. It didn't look like he was having a very pleasant dream. His eyebrows were low on his forehead and his hand kept twitching in mine, squeezing rather hard and angrily at times.

I checked my watch and realized that it was quite early. It must have been the uncomfortable sleeping position that I was in that woke me at five o'clock.

I wasn't sure if I should leave or not. I looked down at our clasped hands and tried to very carefully pry mine from his without him waking, but it seemed that the harder I pulled, the tighter he held.

In a few hours students would be filling the halls and heading to breakfast before boarding the Hogwarts Express in the afternoon and heading home for the holidays. Surprisingly, I still hadn't fully decided whether or not I was going home. I had my bags packed and I had owled my parents earlier, telling them to expect me, but I also knew that I could unpack, and send an owl saying I couldn't come just as easily.

If I didn't leave soon I would have a hard time explaining why I was still in my dress from last night. Then I remembered where I was. Perhaps if I just thought really hard about a change of clothes the Room would provide them for me.

I closed my eyes in order to concentrate better and wound up falling back asleep. When I woke back up Malfoy was also awake. I watched him through my lashes so that he wouldn't notice. He looked much better after a full nights rest, but it would take awhile before the dark circles completely disappeared. He was looking down at our hands, but other than the occasional flick from his eyelids, he was completely motionless.

Groaning, like I was just waking up, I stretched and felt him drop my hand. I opened my eyes all the way and saw his pale face, marked with something like terror and confusion. Standing up, I saw that the room had granted my request for a change of clothes; a pair of jeans and a jumper were folded neatly on a random night stand.

I grabbed the clothes and started walking around a large pile of rubbish to change, away from Malfoy's eyes.

"What are you doing?" he finally croaked out.

I stopped and turned to answer him. "Changing," I said simply.

He didn't do anything else, so stepped behind the pile and quickly slipped out of my dress and into the more casual clothes.

When I came back around, Malfoy was using his wand to cover the cabinet back up with the sheet.

"Are you going home for the holidays?" I asked him out of general curiosity. I wondered what 'home' was like for Malfoy. Was it even a home or just a house?

He gave a fake, breathy laugh. "Even if I wanted to go back to the Manor, no one would want me there. Not unless I came with news that this was fixed," he gestured to the cabinet.

"I'm going to visit my parents," I said when he didn't go on. "I would go to the Weasleys', but Ron and I aren't exactly on friendly terms."

He didn't look at me. "I don't care were you go, as long as you don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

I watched him check that everything was in place. Then he walked past me without a glance and out the door.

"Happy Christmas!" I managed, before the door snapped shut.

* * *

After I'd checked for the hundredth time that I had everything packed, I went to lunch, where Harry had some very exciting news and Ginny was in hysteria.

"I did it, Hermione!" she sobbed. "I broke it off with Dean!"

"Oh, Ginny! I'm sorry!" I said, sympathetically patting her shoulder.

"No, no," she wiped her eyes and straitened up. "I'm fine. You were right, all we do is fight. After Slughorn's party, we went up to the Common Room where Seamus had snuck in some Firewhisky and Butterbeers. Dean and the rest of the boys stayed up real late playing drinking games and by four o'clock this morning Dean was hammered and was sloshing around. He went to grab _another_ shot when I told him to stop and go to bed. He got furious and started yelling about-" she choked. "Never mind. Anyway, how did the plan go last night?"

I rolled my eyes and Harry snickered. "Well, it sure managed to get Ron and Lavender worked up, but I cannot _stand_ to be anywhere near Cormac."

"Still, plan accomplished!" Ginny said triumphantly. "Did you two even make it to the party?"

Harry choked on his water. I ignored him. "I guess you could say that."

"Speaking of the party," Said Harry, managing to regain himself. "Snape was there. He told me that Dumbledore was traveling."

"Traveling?" asked Ginny. "For what? Where?"

"He wouldn't say. And after Malfoy crashed the party, I heard them taking in the hall,"

I raised my eyebrows and glanced along the Slytherin table. Malfoy wasn't there.

"I couldn't hear all of it. Snape wanted to help him with something and Malfoy insisted he could do it himself."

"What do think it was?" I asked. Although, I was certain I already knew.

"I don't know. But this is almost proof, Hermione. Malfoy's become a Death Eater!"

I rolled my eyes. "This proves nothing, Harry! Did either of them actually say that?"

He huffed. "No."

"All right then."

We went back to picking at our food. Was Snape trying to help Malfoy, or was he one of the people forcing him? I couldn't understand why Malfoy wouldn't accept help if it was offered to him. Probably too proud. Then how was I suppose to explain to myself what happened last night? Again?

The task was obviously taking a toll on Malfoy. Last night was probably the first time he'd slept in days, and who knows when he ate last. He was skipping meals again, I noticed. And when he did show up, he just played with his food and sulked.

Surprisingly, the state of his health was making me anxious. The more I looked at his empty spot at the Slytherin table, the more fidgety I got. I thought about him wasting away over the holidays in the Room of Requirement.

I jumped up suddenly, startling Harry and Ginny.

"I just remembered! I need to go to Hogsmead, I forgot to buy something!" I gasped.

I stumbled out of my seat and hurried away before either of them could say anything.

I _was_ going to Hogsmead, but not because I forgot to buy something. I had just _thought_ of something too buy.

* * *

I went to Honeydukes and bought a bag of treats quickly. I didn't have anything to wrap them in so I left them in the paper bag.

The train was due to leave at eleven and it was already ten forty five. I had to make this quick.

I ran back into the school and headed strait for the seventh floor, but I passed the portrait of The Fat Lady, instead making my way to the bare stretch of hallway in the back.

With Harry, Ron, and Ginny all leaving for the holidays there were very few people who would be left that knew how to work the Room of Requirement. And I knew one of those people was Malfoy.

I dropped my things in front of the wall and hurriedly took out a quill and bottle of ink. I scribbled Draco Malfoy's initials on the paper bag of sweets and then slid it into the more shady corner of the wall, were hopefully only Malfoy would see it.

He would be too greedy not to look at the bag, but whether or not he actually ate what I gave him I had no idea. At least I'd tried.

I ran back to the Gryffindor Common Room where I met Ginny and grabbed my trunk. We hastily boarded the train and found a compartment all to ourselves. I would have gladly sat with Harry, but Ron had managed to pry himself from Lavender long enough to ride to London with him.

"You should talk to Ron," Ginny told me, about a half an hour later.

I snorted.

"He's not with Lavender. Now would be a great time to at least talk to him and Harry about-," she paused and leaned in. "Something's wrong with Harry," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I heard girls in his Potions Class talking about how he was the only one getting high marks. And he keeps carrying around that ratty book everywhere. I bet he even sleeps with it."

She was right. Harry was the only one getting high marks. And he was carrying around the torn potions book everywhere. _And reading it._ Which wasn't something I thought Ron nor Harry did very often.

"I'm just worried," she added. "I know how dangerous old books can be."

I nodded, remembering the incident in my second year. "Okay. I'll see if I can talk to them."

I slid open the compartment door and shimmied into the hall. Checking in the compartments for Harry and Ron, I finally found them about halfway down the train. But when I went to slide open their door, I noticed something written in the condensation on the glass. It was a heart. And inside it where the initials RW and LB.

Harry and Ron were both looking at me, however Harry looked more sorry than Ron. I took a deep breath and straitened up. Then I turned on my heel, and very dignified, walked away. But I only just made it out of their view before I broke down. I hid my tears behind my shirt sleeves and hurried to the toilet. I couldn't take it any more. This feud that Ron and I had, over I wasn't even sure what anymore, was causing me to loose one of my best friends.

I rinsed my face under the water and composed myself in the mirror. I decided that when we came back from break I would try to treat Ron as though Lavender wasn't there. Which would be hard considering that they were both practically attached at the lips, but at least I would try.

* * *

When the Hogwarts Express pulled onto platform 9 3/4 almost all of the school poured out and ran to meet the kin that was waiting for them. My parents were waving enthusiastically at me from next to the Weasleys.

I greeted Mr and Mrs. Weasley, gave each of my parents a quick hug, and then hurried them out before any awkward exchanges would be made between Ron and me. I knew I would have to embrace the awkwardness some time, just not now.

When we got home I help my parents decorate our Christmas tree and put up tinsel and holly. Then we sat by the fire with steaming cups of coco and I told them about my classes and they told me about their work and it started to snow big, fat, lazy snowflakes, and it was all beautiful.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! Sorry. I know it's been awhile. Again. I've just been busy with my other writing and work and art and stuff. **

**Than you, Jane Glass for telling me to get a move on! I appreciated that. And thanks to everyone who commented on last chapter. I know this one's short again (ugh!), but it would be wonderful you reviewed anyway!**

**Sorry about grammar mistakes, I'm sure there's some, I wanted this up tonight so I didn't get to reread it a ton.**

**With love, **

**Wren Gebel**


	8. The Half Blood Prince

**The Half Blood Prince**

The weeks following the return to Hogwarts from break were quite pleasant ones. The sun came out and shone brightly, melting a considerable amount of snow, although I was sure it wouldn't be long before the remaining flurries of winter blew in and covered everything in snow one final time.

A sign had been hung outside the Great Hall announcing the apparation lessons which would begin on February first. I was looking forward to finally learning to apparate. Of course I'd read all about it. It sounded like it would be rather tricky and potentially painful at first, but with practice there were many advantages to apparation.

After returning to Hogwarts, I immediately checked for the bag of treats I'd left Malfoy before break outside of the Room of Requirement. There was no trace that the sweets had been anywhere near the Room, but whether Malfoy or Filtch got them was a mystery.

Speaking of Malfoy, I hadn't seen a trace of him anywhere either in the two weeks since break. He wasn't in Potions class or Transfiguration. Malfoy was someone who wouldn't be told what to do, but he also wasn't one to skip classes. I couldn't help but wonder if he was in the Hospitable wing from undernourishment or sleep deprivation.

However, the answer to my unspoken question came sooner than I had expected. And certainly not in the way I expected.

I was walking to the Gryffindor Common Room for my study period to grab a few of my books before heading to the library.

No sooner had I reached the painting of The Fat Lady and she asked for the password, I was whipped around forcefully and shoved with my back on the painting by none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy what-" I was going to be angry and shove him off just as forcefully, but I stopped. His eyes were more bloodshot than usual and they were brimmed with tears.

"God damn it, Granger! I asked you- begged you- not to tell anyone," he said between grit teeth.

"I didn't tell anyone!" I insisted.

"Then how the hell does Potter know?"

"Harry doesn't know anything," I said, trying to make him believe me. "all he knows is that Snape wants to help. He said something about an unbreakable vow?"

Malfoy relaxed his grip and glanced down, relieved. "Well, he managed to figure out that I've been in the Room of Requirement," he sighed. "How does he know about Snape anyway?"

"The night of the party, he followed you and Snape after you left," I said, reluctant to rat on Harry. "But I don't know how he knows about you being in the Room. He probably saw you come out or something."

"Do you mind?" The Fat Lady in the painting asked, annoyed.

Malfoy glared at her and pulled me off the painting and around the corner.

"You're not having any luck with the cabinet, are you?" I asked, noticing that he was still thin and frail. Part of me was glad that the cabinet was going nowhere and part of me wanted it fixed for Malfoy and his family's sake.

He looked away from me again.

"There's still time for you to tell Dumbledore!" I pried.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again I could see that he was tearing up again.

"You need to eat," I said, changing the subject. "Did you get the sweets I left you?"

"Yes," he said reluctantly.

"You didn't eat them?" I asked, although I hadn't really expected him to eat them anyway.

"I tried. I try to eat at meals too. Nothing stays down," he confessed.

It was then, I think, that I fully realized how much this was really stressing him out. I had to do something. My Gryffindor instincts kicked in with the need to help.

"Let me help you," I insisted. "I'll make some potions or bring you some food or something."

He shook his head and backed away. "You've helped enough already, Granger."

I took a step forward defiantly. "No I haven't. I'm going to make you eat, Draco Malfoy!" I shrieked.

He looked taken aback at my use of his full name and my sudden determination.

I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "Look. I don't like you. I _really _don't like you," I said, wrestling to keep his eye contact. "You've made my life hell for the past five years. But that doesn't mean I hate you. And it definitely doesn't mean I want to see you suffer. So, let me help you or- or-" I tried to think of a threat that would actually work. "-I'll tell Harry."

He glared at me. His nostrils flared and his nose crinkled up.

"I fucking hate you, Granger," he fumed.

"No you don't," I said smugly.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't hate," he spat back.

I just shook my head and frowned at him, already contemplating what potions I could get my hands on that would help him eat better. I don't know why I was doing it. Pity, maybe? Or perhaps defiance. That was probably it.

Malfoy gave me an angered once over with a sneer on his face and then stalked off.

* * *

In the Common Room that evening, Ginny gave me some startling news.

"Dean and I are back together!" she squealed.

Harry looked crestfallen and was making an effort not to look at her.

"Oh, Gin!" I said. I thought I had already convinced her that she and Dean weren't right together.

"No, Hermione." she said quickly. "I'm making the right decision. Please don't try and tell me differently."

I snapped my mouth shut and, with an effort, said nothing.

"We had a good long talk," Ginny continued. "Everything is okay now."

I sighed, but kept my silence.

Harry took out a book and bent over it on the sofa, something I didn't often see him do.

I leaned forward and was able to make out that it was our Potions book, but this was that ratty one Harry couldn't tear himself away from.

"Harry? Is that our Potions book?" I asked him, thinking that I could maybe get a better look at it and look up some potions for Malfoy at the same time. "Do you mind if I barrow it for a moment? I need to look up this one potion and I left mine on my bed."

He looked up and subconsciously wrapped is arms over the book to block it from my view.

"Well... er... it's rather fragile," he said nervously.

"That's alright," I held out my hand. "I'll be careful."

He stood up quickly and his face went ashen.

Ginny stood up too. "Harry, give me the book," Ginny said firmly.

We were starting to attract the attention of the other Gryffindors in the room. Even Ron was looking our way.

"I think I'll just go to bed," Harry made a move for the stairs.

But before he could take one step, Ginny lashed out and swiped the book from his hand in one swift movement.

"Hey-!" Harry yelled, grabbing at the book as Ginny kept her back to him.

She cracked it open and scanned the page with her eyes.

"Who's the Half Blood Prince?" she asked after a moment.

Harry stopped fighting for the book. Ron had made his way over now. _Nosey little-. _I had to remind myself that I was trying to be civil with him.

"The Bloody What?" Ron asked.

Harry looked frightened and extremely guilty.

"The Half Blood Prince," Ginny corrected him. "It says right here," she pointed to the page where 'Property of The Half Blood Prince' was scrawled. "Is this how you're suddenly so good at potions, Harry?" she flipped through the moth-eaten pages, allowing me to see scribbles, drawings, and hand-written notes in the margins of almost every page.

Harry made a hesitated move and then snatched the book from Ginny's hand. I watched him, hoping he would elaborate, but he scampered up the stairs to the boy's Dormitory and out of sight, mumbling, "It's nothing," as he went.

I gave Ginny a worried look, who in turn raised an eyebrow at Ron and I.

"He's _always_ with that book," Ron whispered to us.

The rest of the Common Room turned their attention back to their own devices.

"He even sleeps with it under his pillow," Ron continued. "And once, when he was reading it in bed, he made me levitate! Just by _reading_ the bloody thing!"

I didn't know who the Half Blood Prince was, but he sounded like a dangerous bloke. So I decided that there was only one thing to do; find out who the Half Blood Prince was, and there was only one way to do that; go to the library. My system for figuring things out hadn't failed me yet and I doubted it would fail me now.

* * *

My system was definitely failing me.

Two weeks of tireless searching, and the library seemed to have absolutely nothing on the Half Blood Prince. Not one mention in _Hogwarts: A History_. There was nothing in _Fabulously Famous Witches and Wizards of the Last Fifty_ _Centuries._ And still no evidence what so ever in _The Dark Book of Dangerous Dark Wizards _or many others for that matter.

It was like the Half Blood Prince never existed.

On a brighter note, I found a simple potion that could cure stomach sickness and hopefully get Malfoy eating again.

He was still missing classes, skipping meals, and when he did show up, he looked like death warmed over.

I just needed to get the ingredients and find time to make it. It wouldn't be that hard to convince Slughorn that I wanted to make the stomach sickness potion for extra credit, so I decided to ask to use the Potions room after classes on Thursday, and like I had predicted, he said it would be marvelous._  
_

On Friday I had the potion bottled and ready for use, the only problem being how I would get it to Malfoy and how I would make him take it. I decided to wait for him outside of the Room of Requirement that night after appariation lessons.

I announced loudly to the Common Room that I was going to the library to study, and as I expected, no one batted an eye or volunteered to come with me.

And I wasn't lying. I did go to the library because I did need to study. But I couldn't concentrate. The flask of stomach sickness potion was burning a hole through my pocket and my mind kept wandering to ways I could make Malfoy drink it.

Shutting my book, I decided to do something I very rarely did; visit the kitchens.

I made my way quickly down the hall toward the painting of fruit and wasted no time in extending a finger to tickle the pear. The green fruit squealed with delight and the painting swung forward, opening up to dozens of House Elves who were hustling to and fro, washing pots and pans, handing food from one to another, and already beginning to plan tomorrow morning's breakfast.

My nostrils flared as I stepped into the kitchen. I still wasn't convince that the Elves could actually enjoy a life like this, but I was only greeted with scowls from each House Elf who seemed to remember my attempts of my S.P.E.W. campaign back in fourth year.

"Miss Granger," an older House Elf had stepped forward and bowed in front of me.

"Hello," I said, putting on a kind face and trying to ignore his bow.

"What can Knacky get you, miss?" he asked, still in a deep bow.

"I just came to see if you had anything extra from the feast," I said politely.

He stood up strait. "Of course, miss!" and he scampered off to grab a few dishes.

Meanwhile, I stood waiting and trying to keep myself from helping every House Elf that passed. But when a small elf with a particularly heavy looking pot stumbled past, it was only Knacky coming back with a paper sack full of food that stopped me from running forward and taking the pot from the elf.

I took the bag, said thanks, and left before I did something stupid.

* * *

After waiting _forever_ for Malfoy outside of the Room of Requirement, I decided that it was getting too late for me. It was creeping around twelve o'clock and I was starting to wonder if he would go to the Room at all that night.

I magicked a piece of parchment and a quill, deciding to leave everything for when he got there, it worked okay last time.

_Here is a stomach sickness tonic and some food from the feast, which I noticed you were missing from. _I wrote. Feeling that I needed to add a close, I said: _Don't make me cram it down your throat._

I didn't sign my name, I had a feeling he would know who it was from anyway, plus, if anyone else found it I didn't need them asking me questions.

And then I left it there. All I could do was hope he'd take it, for my own peace of mind.

* * *

The next day was Saturday, but I woke up early anyway so I could inhale some breakfast and then spend as much of the day as I could in the Library looking for evidence of the Half Blood Prince.

I was the only one up when I awoke, because, like normal people on Saturdays, the rest of the Gryffindors were sleeping in.

I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and attempted to tame my hair before leaving through the portrait hole toward the Great Hall. However, something stopped me before I could take five steps.

That something was Draco Malfoy.

He was waiting around the corner with the bag in his hand and a scowl on his face.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes at his expression. What did I do now?

"Granger," he growled.

"Why are you always so angry when you talk to me?" I asked him. "You could at least _pretend _to appreciate my attempts of kindness."

He frowned with his mouth opened like he was about to retort but decided not to.

"I-" he said, cocking his head. "I was going to ask you to eat this with me."

* * *

**A/N: Howdy! Geez! I feel like I haven't written in forever! And I'm so sorry for that! This was a little shorter than I wanted it to be because I wanted to give you a longer one since you had to wait so long, but.**

**So, who's doing NaNoWriMo? I am! But I'm kinda cheating because I already started. (SHhh!) Anyway, here's to the upcoming sleepless nights and crying over our keyboards or notepads! Yeah!**

**Make sure to leave a comment!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	9. Dinner, Dinner, And Apparition Lessons

**Dinner, Dinner, And Apparition Lessons**

* * *

_He frowned with his mouth opened like he was about to retort but decided not to._

_"I-" he said, cocking his head. "I was going to ask you to eat this with me."_

* * *

I stared at him.

"Wha- what?" I stammered. Draco Malfoy did _not_ just ask me to eat with him.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his platinum hair.

"Never mind."

He pushed past me with a scowl on his face, muttering angrily to himself as he went.

"Wait!" I called after him.

He stopped, with his back still toward me and did what I said, waited.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "I will."

He stood there.

I watched his shoulders rise and fall with his breath. His long pale fingers curled around the brown paper bag and his white hair combed neatly against the base of his neck. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he just as surprised by my response as I was? Or did he not really care at all. I wondered what he would do if I just ran up and gave him a hug. He looked like he needed it. I wondered why I had thought about that at all.

"You don't have to," he said without turning around.

I took a step toward him, noticing how he turned his head ever so slightly when he heard my foot steps.

"I know I don't have to," I said. I walked slowly closer, feeling the pressure from the space between us tighten. "If I had to, I wouldn't do it."

I came up beside him and looked up to his face. His head barely turned my direction, but it was enough for me to see that his eyes were closed.

"But I want to."

* * *

We went to the Room of Requirement. It was the only place no one would find us.

The Room gave us a living room. A fire crackled on the right wall with a large maroon rug spread out in front of it. A love seat and two deep blue arm chairs circled a dark brown coffee table. Why it didn't just give us a dinning room, I had no idea, but the living room actually worked out quite nicely, and, as awkward as it was, it made it less awkward.

I took the armchair to the left and Malfoy sat across from me. Silently, he opened the paper bag and placed its contents on the coffee table carefully. I watched him look at the spread grimly.

"Take the tonic," I tried softly.

He picked up the small bottle and held it to his face to better see it. Turning it back and forth, he let the orange light from the fire catch the glass.

"It's not poison," I said lightly, maybe to make him smirk, but he didn't even blink when he glanced up at me and then back down at the potion in his hand.

He crawled his fingers up and uncorked the bottle. Then sniffed it carefully.

"I followed every step precisely. It won't kill you," he glanced at me again. "I promise," I added.

He tipped back the bottle and swallowed it all in one gulp. He sat there for just a few seconds and then his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed red and he suddenly looked so much more alive than he had before.

Picking up a piece of bread from the table, for good measure, he chewed and swallowed it tentatively and then waited.

After a few seconds, relief flashed through his stormy grey eyes and they came to rest on mine. He stared at me for a few seconds, and I stared back, not sure if he was going to thank me or hex me. Then the faintest of smiles broke through his thin lips. I couldn't help but smile myself. It had worked! I'd helped Malfoy eat again! And I didn't have to force feed him!

Quickly, he picked up another piece and tore it between his teeth. I watched him hungrily devour the food in front of him like he hadn't eaten for weeks, and maybe he hadn't. I thought that a thank-you would be nice, but this was Draco Malfoy I'd just helped. That smile was as close to thanks as he was going to give me.

We ate in silence. Or rather, he ate and I watched (leftover dinner wasn't exactly my favorite breakfast). When he was finished and all the food gone, we sat in awkward silence, staring at each other and practically daring the other to speak.

I listened to the fire snap and hiss, all the while trying to figure out the best way to leave without making the situation any more awkward.

"I still hate you, you know," Malfoy said suddenly. "This, and me telling you that stuff, and- before, doesn't change anything. I still hate you."

I looked at him, trying to think of something to say to that. Blinking a few times, I stood up, sighed, and went for the door. I couldn't imagine the situation would stay good if I stayed.

"That didn't mean you have to leave," he said quickly, standing up as well.

I smirked and shook my head, but stopped and turned around to look at him. That potion really worked wonders. Already he was starting to look more healthy.

"I want you to do something," I said. "I want you to insult me."

He looked quite taken aback. "You _want_ me to insult you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because if none of this mattered, and you really did hate me, you would still be able to put me down with just a few hateful words. So go on, insult me."

His lips parted slightly and he seemed to be holding his breath while eyeing me up and down. His eyes moved wildly around my face and hair and I stood with my arms folded, waiting for his best insult.

"Your..." he began and broke off.

"My...?" I prompted.

"Your hair... has a lot of curls."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "My hair has a lot of curls?" I huffed out between laughter. "Wow. That one hurt," I said sarcastically.

He pushed his bottom jaw out and flared his nostrils, his face went even redder than before.

I turned back to the door and placed my hand on the handle. "It's okay Malfoy, I hate you too."

I walked out of the Room and into a scene I really did not want to be in. For a split second, I though about turning around and heading right back into the Room.

Down the hall, Ginny and Dean were fighting like mad. Ginny's face was red and her eyes were wild with fury. And boy was she telling Dean off for something. His arms were spread out at his sides and he kept trying to yell over Ginny.

"I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO-!" Ginny shrieked. Her voice was thick like she was holding back tears.

"YOU DIDN'T SAY _ANYTHING_ ABOUT THE RED ONES!" Dean tried to yell over her.

I slinked forward. If I could just get to the portrait hole without them noticing...

"THE RED ONES ARE A PART OF IT! WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS ARE YOU!?

I stopped, mid stride, and stared open mouthed at Ginny. She was bent over and gushing tears now. I couldn't believe what she'd just said. I hadn't the foggiest what they were arguing about, but Dean must have screwed up pretty bad to make Ginny act like that.

Dean had stopped arguing too. He was watching Ginny in fear.

Then Ginny took off running. Right at me. My eyes got about as big as saucers and I quickly pressed myself against the wall so she could get past.

She didn't even glance at me. She ran strait past and right into the Room of Requirement.

"Malfoy," I whispered as I watched her rip the door open and storm inside.

I started after her, afraid she might actually rip Malfoy's face off in the state she was in just for the sheer fact of him happening to be there.

But when I reached for the handle, the door barged open of it's own accord, making me jump back quickly to avoid being hit. Malfoy ran out with his tail between his legs and the sound of glass smashing against the wall followed him. And before the door closed all the way, I heard Ginny scream into a pillow.

"What the hell is up her arse?" He asked while trying to pat his hair down and straiten his shirt.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I opened up the door, against my better judgement, to try to comfort Ginny.

"You trying to get yourself killed, Granger?"

Again, I ignored him.

Inside, Ginny was in hysterics. Her face was all red and shiny with tears and her hair was all over the place. She was lying on the love seat with a pillow over her face.

I sat down on the arm of the seat and waited for her to notice I was there. I wasn't good at comforting people. Being an only child and growing up in a muggle school where everyone thought you were a freak didn't give you much experience with heart broken friends.

"Hermione?" she croaked.

"Yeah?"

She didn't say anything.

The fire was still going in the hearth. On the floor next to it was a bunch of broken glass.

We sat there for a while in silence. The only reason I stayed was because I knew you weren't supposed to leave your friend alone when things like this happened, except when they asked you to. And I'm not even sure if you were supposed to then either.

"I'm a horrible person," Ginny finally said.

"No!" I gasped. "No, of course you're not. Why would you even say that?"

"Because I am. I never should have said that to Dean. Really. He was only trying to help and I just- I'm just- so frustrated!"

I let her vent. Honestly, the arguments she made still didn't make her seem like a bad person. Instead they practically screamed that she needed to break up with Dean, but for some reason, she couldn't hear that. To her, it must just sound like it was all her fault.

* * *

At lunch, I had to lie through my teeth to Harry, Ron, and Ginny as to why I wasn't at breakfast.

So I used the same lame excuse:

"Oh, I wasn't that hungry so I decided to get some research done in the Library."

It would have been totally believable too if Neville hadn't overheard.

"That's weird," he said. "I was there, too, looking up Snapping Poppies for Herbology, but I didn't see you."

"Probably not, Neville, I was in the restricted section for Slughorn," I hated lying to Neville. I hated lying in general, but lying to Neville was so easy and cruel, it was like taking candy from a baby.

"Oh," he shrugged.

"Didn't I see you outside the Gryffindor Common room?" Ginny asked.

_Crap. Crap crap crap crap._

"Ya, I was just..."

I glanced over at the Slytherin table and swelled with pride when I saw Malfoy there, looking cheerful and sucking mashed potatoes off his fork. I was proud of myself. I'd managed to force Draco Malfoy of all people to eat and I had brewed a perfect stomach sickness potion. Not many people could say they'd done all of that in the same week.

"...Heading back," I finished.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny both looked at me quizzically.

"Who's excited for Apparition lessons tonight?" I exclaimed, desperately trying to change the subject.

Ron, who had apparently found the decency to sit with us without constantly snogging Lavender, gave a whoop. "I've been waiting for Apparition lessons since I could ride a broom!"

"I can't wait until I'm of age and can Apparate from the Dursleys whenever I want," Harry said.

"Too bad you have a whole other year to wait, Gin," Ron teased her.

Ginny slumped. "Ya, ya, go ahead, rub it in. At least I can fly better than you, Ron."

Ron's face went purple. "Did you _see_ me last Quidditch match? I was amazing. If I recall, so many _Gryffindors_ were shouting 'Weasley is our king'."

"That's only because you thought Harry had put that potion in your drink. And the 'Weasley is our king' thing was probably for me anyway."

"They were saying _King_ not _Queen._"

"I'm above being specified into gender rolls."

Ron rolled his eyes.

Dean walked by just then, and Ginny stopped talking to duck her head toward her food. Both did very well in pretending the other wasn't there.

We all got pretty quiet. Harry was watching Ginny closely out of the corner of his eye as she aimlessly chewed her food and stared blankly at a spot on the table. Ron, meanwhile, had totally zoned in on his chicken and was devouring it in a way that reminded me of when he and Lavender kissed.

* * *

A/N: Sorry to interrupted, but at this point I would like to say that I don't really remember what the apparition lessons were like in the book, so I'll be making them up as best I can from memory. Please forgive me if I screw up. That's all. Continue on.

* * *

A ministry official named Wilkie Twycross was our instructor for our apparition classes. It was hard to describe what Mr. Twycross looked like because he seemed to be almost transparent. His hair was even lighter than Malfoy's and his skin was practically translucent. It was like he was made of the same material Harry's invisibility cloak was made of. And I was afraid to look away from him, in case I looked back and couldn't find where he was again.

About three or four dozen Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin sixth years were standing in rows in the Great Hall. Each student had a silver ring on the ground in front of them, just big enough to stand in.

"What do you suppose these rings are for?" Ron asked Harry and me as we waited for Twycross to finish making sure everyone was present.

"They're apparition points," I replied smartly.

"But why?"

"Gracious Ronald, you can't just apparate in and out of Hogwarts whenever you want! There's about a dozen charms protecting it," I said.

"Read that in _Hogwarts: A History_, did you?" he asked, more to Harry than to me, and they both chuckled while I scowled.

I wasn't about to admit that he was right.

"There are three D's of Apparition," Twycross said, taking to the front of them room and splitting the chatter. "Can anyone tell me what they are?" he asked.

I raised my hand.

"Of course she knows," I heard Ron whisper.

"Yes, Miss," Twycross looked down at his paper. "Granger?"

"Destination, Determination, and Deliberation," I said clearly.

"Very good!" he exclaimed.

I smiled proudly, even though I heard snorts from the Slytherin end of the room.

"Now," Twycross continued. "Apparition is a tricky mode of transportation in the Wizarding world. Focus is key. At the end of the whole lessons, you will be given a test. Those of you who get splinched, or leave a part of you behind-" There was a lot of wincing and ewwing at this. "-will have to take the test over again. So. Practice hard while your here and it shouldn't be a problem..."

The first lesson didn't last that long. Twycross told us a bit more about apparating, all of which I already knew, and then demonstrated a few times himself.

So the rest of the evening found us in the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry and Ron played wizard chess while I tried to finish an essay for Charms that was due next Friday.

Dean was there, joking with Seamus, which meant that Ginny was probably sulking in the dormitories. As far as I knew, they were still together, but it seemed neither of them were happy so I could only wonder why.

Watching Harry and Ron stressing over the chess game reminded me that I still didn't know anything about the Half Blood Prince yet. For some very strange, very unsettling reason, the thought, _maybe Malfoy would know_, popped into my head. Why would I think that? Why would I _think_ about asking Draco Malfoy for insight of any kind?_  
_

I scratch my eyebrow with the end of my quill and shook my head to clear my thoughts. Then I went back to trying to finish my essay. But then I started thinking about how Malfoy had said Harry was following him around. It had been awhile since Harry'd said anything about Malfoy being a deatheater or that he was up to something diabolical. It made me a little worried to think that he was at the heals of whatever Malfoy was doing. And it made me worried that it made me worried that Harry would catch him doing something horrible. To be honest, I didn't know whether I wanted Malfoy to be caught or not. And that made me worried too.

And it worried me that I was thinking about Malfoy so much lately. It worried me that I _snuck out_ to get him food and _lied_ to my potions professor and friends for him. And the fact that I liked seeing him happy at lunch today made me worried.

Also, I was worried about all my worrying.

I need to sleep, I decided, rolling up my parchment and putting away my quills. I need to sleep for a few decades. Maybe when I woke up then I wouldn't be so worried and I wouldn't be thinking about Draco Malfoy. But I knew, even if I really did fall asleep for years, I still would be.

* * *

**A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Because I think Halloween is the best holiday of the year, I decided to give you all a nice long chapter! And because most of you are probably out being social tonight and partying it up in your Harry Potter costumes (obviously) you probably won't read this until after Halloween. However, lucky for you, I have no social life so you have this to come home later to and enjoy! You're welcome.**

**Do you love Harry Potter?**

**Do you love writing?**

**Do you love fanfiction?**

**If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to check out the Hogwarts Writing Club Forum. The awesome people over there want to host writing contests, but they need more people to sign up. So, copy and paste this forum/Hogwarts-Writing-Club/159711/ to your url. (Make sure to take out the space between 'fanfiction' and '.net') You can back out any time if you want, so why not give it a try?**

**Please make my day with your comments! I love them!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	10. Everything Changes

**Everything Changes**

* * *

Ron's birthday was next week and I still didn't know what to get him. We were on much better terms now. He, himself, seemed to be getting a little tired of Lavender's constant snogging, but she didn't seem to get the message. For Christmas Lavender had gotten him this heart necklace that no doubt said something mushing a puke-worthy on it. She completely freaked out any time he wasn't wearing it, saying that he really didn't want to be with her anymore if he couldn't wear the necklace. So Ron would have to grovel and promise to wear it. It was a disgusting sight.

Maybe I could get him some reverse breath mints. That would keep Lavender at bay. Although, that would be more for my benefit than his.

I was currently in Apparition lessons, my fourth one so far. And I was quite good if I do say so myself. Our final test was next next Friday, on Ron's birthday so today was plainly for practice and questions if we had any.

Although I had been doing exceedingly well, tonight I couldn't focus if my life depended on it. Perhaps it had to do with Malfoy's staring problem.

At first, I thought he was angrily staring at Harry for following him around all the time, but after a while a began to suspect that it was I he was watching.

I tried staring back at him until he gave up and looked away, but it began to get odd and annoying to have to keep looking his direction. So I tried asking him with my eyes what he wanted.

Over the past couple of weeks, I had continued making him a tonic. The only reason I had to force in down his throat was because he was too proud to take it from me. But it worked wonders on him, it really did. He looked so much healthier now, no longer skin and bone, but however much the tonic helped with his ability to keep his meals down, it did nothing to help him sleep. And I could tell.

Dark rings still encircled his eyes and whenever I saw him in the halls it was like he was sleep walking from class to class.

That is, if he actually went to class. Sometimes, he would go days without showing up for class. He had to be failing almost everything.

We never talked. Not about what had happened between us so far this year, his absence in class, the cabinet, or even a simple "hi" as we passed. That was fine. I hated to think what other students would say if they saw an exchange. But apparently we had gotten to the point where we could exchange glances. In the halls, at meals, during class. They had to be quick though. Malfoy's eyes would have surely fallen out if he looked at me longer than two seconds.

So then how was he capable of looking at me so often tonight?

_What?! _ I raised my eyebrows at him and widened my eyes to question him.

He pretended not to see me and looked away.

That made me angrier than his staring, pretending not to.

I tried to apparate between apparition circles, but before long I felt his eyes on me again.

My cheeks turned red and I shot daggers at him. _Stop it!_

Again, he pretended not to notice by making a somewhat clumsy apparition between two hoops.

After class, I was going to corner him, in an empty hallway, and tell him to keep his eyes to himself. But before I could do that, he cornered me.

"We need to talk," he growled.

My heart jumped.

"No kidding," I retorted quietly.

I waved to Harry and Ron as if I was going to do some late night studying in the library and headed the same way Malfoy had just went.

We ended up inside an empty classroom where it was evident that Peeves had been trying to write nasty things on the chalk board. Malfoy was leaning against a desk with his arms crossed over his chest and watching me walk in and shut the door behind me.

I crossed my arms, too, to look more intimidating or something. I'm not really sure.

"What did I do wrong now?" I asked boredly. "Did I tell Harry again? Or maybe it was Ron this time?"

He smirked at me, making my breath catch. Why did it make me so happy to see Malfoy smile?

"I wanted to thank you. For before."

I jumped at his response. And then laughed because I didn't know what else to do. Was I finally about to get the thanks I deserved or was this a nasty trick?

"Come to your senses, have you? Finally realized that I was trying to help you?" I asked, shocked.

"Don't make a big deal out of this, Hermione I-" he stopped, looking as though he'd just seen Peeves overhead with a bucket of slime.

What he said finally caught up to me and my mouth fell open to my knees. My chest got warm and suddenly it seemed like the room was full of smoke, it was hard to breath.

He cleared his throat and tried to redeem what he'd said. "-Granger. I-"

But I didn't let him finish.

"Did you- did you just call me Hermione?" it was hard to get the words out. I felt suffocated. I'd never heard my first name pass his lips before and it sounded terrifying.

He turned white as chalk. He stood up strait and ran a nervous hand through his hair, looking anywhere but me.

"No. I said Granger," he said pointedly.

"No. Before that you said my first name," I insisted.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he swallowed hard.

It suddenly felt like my knees were going to buckle.

In attempt to distract myself, I laughed breathy. "You're able to look at me longer than two seconds, just thanked me, and called me by my fist name. And all in one night! What is the world coming to?"

He didn't seem to think that was too funny.

"It's alright," I said, looking at his ashen face. "You can call me Hermione, I don't mind. I like it," I added.

He cleared his throat again, looking like he was going to pass out, and then carried on as if he hadn't called me by my first name and I hadn't said it was okay. "Don't make a big deal out of this. I want to have breakfast with you again."

He said the last part so fast, I wasn't sure If I'd heard him right. So I kind of just stood there like an idiot for a minute.

"I'll supply the food this time?" he said weakly. "Just as a way to say thank you," he added meekly.

A smile cracked open on my lips.

"Is the potion really working _that_ well?" I asked him sarcastically.

"If you don't want to just say so!" he said suddenly, going a little pink in the cheeks.

The smile faded from my face and I dropped my arms. Now I felt bad.

"Of course I want to," I said quietly.

His face lightened.

"In the Room Of Requirement again?" I asked like it was no big deal. Like this was something that happened quite often.

Malfoy walked forward so that he was only about two feet away.

"Outside the Astronomy Tower," he said, unable to hold back his grin.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled slightly too.

"What time?"

"Seven o'clock. Don't be late or I won't wait for you."

"I'll be there at six thirty."

"Alright then."

We stared at each other for a minute. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

He nodded and kept watching me. Then, slowly he walked past and started for the door.

"Good night!" I called after him, but he didn't say anything. Just like when I told him Happy Christmas before break and he'd slammed the door on me. Why did I bother?

He did stop walking, however. For a second I thought maybe I had inadvertently frozen time, but then he turned and took the few strides so that he was once again standing in front of me. And maybe it was just me, but he seemed to be standing a little closer.

Then, he did something extraordinary. He lifted his hand and placed it along my jaw, his thumb brushing the top of my cheek. I suddenly forgot how to breath.

I almost forgot how to stand, too. I looked up at his eyes to see that he was looking back into my wide ones.

Subconsciously, I tilted my head into his soft hand. I hated myself for it, but I like the way it felt. Palm cupping my cheek, thumb lightly brushing under my eye, and fingers delicately touching the spot behind my ear. It made me feel like I could fly.

"Good night, Hermione," he said.

Something went missing in my chest when he said that. I think I was my heartbeat. I couldn't help but smile hugely at him and his grey eyes that felt deeper than the Black Lake right then.

"Good night, Draco," I barely managed to whisper.

He smiled then, too. An upturned mouth fit his face so nicely I thought it might make me melt.

If I could have frozen time _then_, I would have. It was so amazing. So blissful. So wrong, but that, I think, is what made it seem so perfect.

He moved his thumb ever so lightly across my cheek.

"Good night," he said again.

Then his fingers slid across my face and his hand was gone. He walked to the door, and just before shutting it behind him, turned to smile at me once more.

Everything changed that night. For better or worse, everything changed.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been a while and I know this one is super duper short and I'm really sorry about that! I wanted to ask you though, would you like shorter update periods with shorter chapters, or longer update periods but with longer chapters?**

**What I mean is:**

**Less time between updates but with shorter chapters (1000-2500 words long within 5-15 days)**

**or**

**Greater time between updates but with longer chapters (3000-4000 words long within 20-30 days)**

**I'm going to let you decide so make sure to let me know in the comments (of course the set words and days above will vary slightly depending on what is going on in my life). Also, to give you an idea, this chapter was about 1700 words long. Most of my chapters so far have been 2500-3800 words. I just want to know which you prefer so that I don't take too long to update or have too short of chapters.**

**So, review, review, review!**

**I love them so much!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


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